Wednesday, November 28, 2018

WWIT -- Week 12 Results -- DFFL Newsletter


 Week 12 – “The Hermans” make a late run

Pardon me while I take a breath. I was discussing the playoff tiebreakers with Commissioner Francis earlier today, and like a big dummy, volunteered my services by taking on the task of charting all the three-way ties, four-way ties, and even 5-way ties that could occur when the dust settles on Week 13.  (I sent a two-page scan e-mail to all members showing the tiebreakers today.)

Nice goin’, Aces.  It took so long, that WWIT got delayed.  (Ed. Note: I know – no big deal, only 6 people read it, anyway.)  Well, delay it no more, here comes volume 12, episode 12 of that parakeet-paper favorite…

 “What Was I THINKING?”

Off we go with our Genius Division. – And, what’s this?  NO perfectos this weekend?  Oooh, MGL didn’t score last weekend.  But, we had TWO teams that only lost 4 points to the bench – Rob Mielke (BTW, happy birthday, Rob!), and the second-place contender in Genius Division play, Robert Abundis of the Killing Fields.  Robert’s been VERY tough lately, he’s just about the only playa that can catch the “Ant-Man.”  Both Rob and Robert get 7 Genius points for the effort.

The “Genius” silver medal this week goes to our #1 team in the DFFL, Alan Sullivan of the Reaper, who lost just 6 points to his bench.  He’s 10-2, and lookin’ unbeatable.  Let’s give the bronze medal this past weekend to both Ron Bolton of the ‘Gunners, and Ryan Francis of Your Name Here / LGJ fame, who lost 7 points to their bench.  No bonus points this week, I’m feeling “Scrooge-y.”

OK, here’s how they currently stand after Week 12 of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division, with just 1 week of play left….


1.   Mr. Go Lucky (44.5 points) – Down to a two-horse race, just one more week to go
2.   The Killing Fields (40 points) – Another STRONG showing from Robert, could win it all
3.   Bolts (33 points) – Lockett’s 7-point difference cost him the points needed to challenge
3.   Burbank Thumpers (33 points) – Giorgio Tavecchio still Isn’t playing.  What up?
5.   Your Name Here (32 points) – Made a run, but the “YNH” legacy got in the way
6.   Run & Gun (27 points) – He’ll be back for a chance at the 2019 title
7.   Grim Reaper (24 points) – The “Reaper” just keeps cranking out the wins
8.   Trojans (21 points) – Best team not going to the playoffs in 2018 – by FAR
9.   Baltimore Ravens (20 points) – Umm…. What’s going on here?  WWIT points?
10. Norsemen (15 points) – It’s the Bolts versus the Norsemen for the Lombardi Division
11. Mob Squad (10 points) – I know how you feel, Jesus.  Look at MY score.
12. Full Tilt Poker (8 points) – WWIT points in Week 12 to finish out the year.  Just great.

Yet to score – (Sigh) Yeah, I know.

As we say “adios” to the smart guys, we now turn to the smart a$$e$, and we got plenty of ‘em.  I can’t wait, let’s get right to it, shall we?   It’s time to find out who played like Jerry Rice, and who played like Leon Lett. -- It is time to ask the question….


I’m going to handle this like I handle Band-Aids.  I’m just going to RIP IT OFF.  Grant Herman has done it again – He finished first in the game that you want to finish LAST in – WWIT.  He lost 20 points to his bench, when he totally mis-handled the Bronco / Steeler game, which is good for 7 WWIT points.  Those goofy-points have just elevated him info first place by 8 points, in a game that usually gives out 7 per week.  He’s won the Genius Division three times, including last year.  But – He is now one week away from possibly grabbing his first WWIT award.  He must be checking out girls at work, instead of the waiver wires.  Nice goin’, son!

Let’s give the silver WWIT medal this weekend to yours truly of Fully-Tilted poker, who lost 17 points to his bench, partially for benching Mike Williams of the Chargers.  Truly inspiring.  Minus-5 WWIT points for that, plus 2 more goofy-points for Benching Watson. 

Ahh, yes, the bronze medal.  It goes to Jose Cano of the Burbank Thumpers, for losing 16 points to his bench.  But that’s not all… Jose started that old kicker for the Falcs, Tavecchio, a guy that hasn’t even PLAYED in weeks, instead of the benched kicker, Boswell, who, had he started the Steeler booter, would have WON his Week 12 game against Jim Francis’ Bolts.  That’s good for minus-3 WWIT points, and minus-2 more for starting that goofy kicker again.  A small note here, at this point – Should Jose choose to start that zero-scoring kicker again, he MIGHT win the 2018 WWIT award on the spot.  We’ll have to see.

No other WWIT points this weekend.  What can be said?  It’s the DFFL. (Laugh)

OK, here are the updated WWIT Standings. One more week, and I promise you, ANYTHING can happen….


1.   Dirty Birds (-33 points) – A late “run” puts the bird-man on top, with one week to go.
2.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-26 points) – DO NOT start that Italian PK again.
3.   Hoarse-Men (-25 points) – Rob would have to totally collapse to have any chance
4.   Pop-Gun Run (-24 points) – Didn’t belong up here, anyway. No chance.
4.   Nameless Wonder (-24 points) – Needs a nine-point “loss” for a tie, a long-shot
6.   Tragic Trojans (-23 points) – Avoided a WWIT score in Week 12, he’s out of it
6.   Worst Show on Paper (-23 points) – Ten points down.  No dice.
8.   Grim Reeker (-22 points) – Another playa with no chance.
9.   Dead on the Field (-19 points) – Having a GREAT Genius year!
10. Fully Tilted Poker (-18 points) –Even I can’t score fifteen WWIT points in one week.
11. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Phhh…. Um, NO.
11. Dolts (-10 points) – He was never in this, but we had to list the name here.

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  Good luck to all the teams still fighting for positions in the 2018 DFFL Playoffs.  May all your selections of the player you want to start end up better than mine (No big task, there).  We’ll see you next week for the finals of WWIT!

As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word?  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at  It’ll be there!  Have a good week!

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