Wednesday, November 28, 2018

WWIT -- Week 12 Results -- DFFL Newsletter


























  

 Week 12 – “The Hermans” make a late run

Pardon me while I take a breath. I was discussing the playoff tiebreakers with Commissioner Francis earlier today, and like a big dummy, volunteered my services by taking on the task of charting all the three-way ties, four-way ties, and even 5-way ties that could occur when the dust settles on Week 13.  (I sent a two-page scan e-mail to all members showing the tiebreakers today.)

Nice goin’, Aces.  It took so long, that WWIT got delayed.  (Ed. Note: I know – no big deal, only 6 people read it, anyway.)  Well, delay it no more, here comes volume 12, episode 12 of that parakeet-paper favorite…

 “What Was I THINKING?”



Off we go with our Genius Division. – And, what’s this?  NO perfectos this weekend?  Oooh, MGL didn’t score last weekend.  But, we had TWO teams that only lost 4 points to the bench – Rob Mielke (BTW, happy birthday, Rob!), and the second-place contender in Genius Division play, Robert Abundis of the Killing Fields.  Robert’s been VERY tough lately, he’s just about the only playa that can catch the “Ant-Man.”  Both Rob and Robert get 7 Genius points for the effort.

The “Genius” silver medal this week goes to our #1 team in the DFFL, Alan Sullivan of the Reaper, who lost just 6 points to his bench.  He’s 10-2, and lookin’ unbeatable.  Let’s give the bronze medal this past weekend to both Ron Bolton of the ‘Gunners, and Ryan Francis of Your Name Here / LGJ fame, who lost 7 points to their bench.  No bonus points this week, I’m feeling “Scrooge-y.”

OK, here’s how they currently stand after Week 12 of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division, with just 1 week of play left….

GENIUS DIVISION – WEEK 12 STANDINGS – DFFL 2018

1.   Mr. Go Lucky (44.5 points) – Down to a two-horse race, just one more week to go
2.   The Killing Fields (40 points) – Another STRONG showing from Robert, could win it all
3.   Bolts (33 points) – Lockett’s 7-point difference cost him the points needed to challenge
3.   Burbank Thumpers (33 points) – Giorgio Tavecchio still Isn’t playing.  What up?
5.   Your Name Here (32 points) – Made a run, but the “YNH” legacy got in the way
6.   Run & Gun (27 points) – He’ll be back for a chance at the 2019 title
7.   Grim Reaper (24 points) – The “Reaper” just keeps cranking out the wins
8.   Trojans (21 points) – Best team not going to the playoffs in 2018 – by FAR
9.   Baltimore Ravens (20 points) – Umm…. What’s going on here?  WWIT points?
10. Norsemen (15 points) – It’s the Bolts versus the Norsemen for the Lombardi Division
11. Mob Squad (10 points) – I know how you feel, Jesus.  Look at MY score.
12. Full Tilt Poker (8 points) – WWIT points in Week 12 to finish out the year.  Just great.

Yet to score – (Sigh) Yeah, I know.

As we say “adios” to the smart guys, we now turn to the smart a$$e$, and we got plenty of ‘em.  I can’t wait, let’s get right to it, shall we?   It’s time to find out who played like Jerry Rice, and who played like Leon Lett. -- It is time to ask the question….

What Was I THINKING?”

I’m going to handle this like I handle Band-Aids.  I’m just going to RIP IT OFF.  Grant Herman has done it again – He finished first in the game that you want to finish LAST in – WWIT.  He lost 20 points to his bench, when he totally mis-handled the Bronco / Steeler game, which is good for 7 WWIT points.  Those goofy-points have just elevated him info first place by 8 points, in a game that usually gives out 7 per week.  He’s won the Genius Division three times, including last year.  But – He is now one week away from possibly grabbing his first WWIT award.  He must be checking out girls at work, instead of the waiver wires.  Nice goin’, son!

Let’s give the silver WWIT medal this weekend to yours truly of Fully-Tilted poker, who lost 17 points to his bench, partially for benching Mike Williams of the Chargers.  Truly inspiring.  Minus-5 WWIT points for that, plus 2 more goofy-points for Benching Watson. 

Ahh, yes, the bronze medal.  It goes to Jose Cano of the Burbank Thumpers, for losing 16 points to his bench.  But that’s not all… Jose started that old kicker for the Falcs, Tavecchio, a guy that hasn’t even PLAYED in weeks, instead of the benched kicker, Boswell, who, had he started the Steeler booter, would have WON his Week 12 game against Jim Francis’ Bolts.  That’s good for minus-3 WWIT points, and minus-2 more for starting that goofy kicker again.  A small note here, at this point – Should Jose choose to start that zero-scoring kicker again, he MIGHT win the 2018 WWIT award on the spot.  We’ll have to see.

No other WWIT points this weekend.  What can be said?  It’s the DFFL. (Laugh)

OK, here are the updated WWIT Standings. One more week, and I promise you, ANYTHING can happen….

WHAT WAS I THINKING DIVISION – WEEK 12 RESULTS - 2018

1.   Dirty Birds (-33 points) – A late “run” puts the bird-man on top, with one week to go.
2.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-26 points) – DO NOT start that Italian PK again.
3.   Hoarse-Men (-25 points) – Rob would have to totally collapse to have any chance
4.   Pop-Gun Run (-24 points) – Didn’t belong up here, anyway. No chance.
4.   Nameless Wonder (-24 points) – Needs a nine-point “loss” for a tie, a long-shot
6.   Tragic Trojans (-23 points) – Avoided a WWIT score in Week 12, he’s out of it
6.   Worst Show on Paper (-23 points) – Ten points down.  No dice.
8.   Grim Reeker (-22 points) – Another playa with no chance.
9.   Dead on the Field (-19 points) – Having a GREAT Genius year!
10. Fully Tilted Poker (-18 points) –Even I can’t score fifteen WWIT points in one week.
11. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Phhh…. Um, NO.
11. Dolts (-10 points) – He was never in this, but we had to list the name here.

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  Good luck to all the teams still fighting for positions in the 2018 DFFL Playoffs.  May all your selections of the player you want to start end up better than mine (No big task, there).  We’ll see you next week for the finals of WWIT!

As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word?  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  It’ll be there!  Have a good week!






Thursday, November 22, 2018

WWIT -- Week 11 -- DFFL Newsletter









   














Week 11 – We’d rather be “lucky” than good



It just hit me…. We’re heading to WEEK TWELVE?  ALREADY?  It seems like we just started PLAYING last week.  Two more weeks, and the 2018 DFFL Playoffs will begin.  (Note: A message from Commissioner Francis – Remember, those of you that make the 2018 DFFL Playoffs – You can only pick up a replacement player off the waiver wire if you’ve suffered an “IR / Out” injury to one of your core members.  And, when you DO pick up a player, he MUST start, the next week.  No “stashing.”)



Since the league will soon be closing its’ doors for the 2018 season, we’ll add some more news tidbits to our normal WWIT column in the next segment, but, for now, here’s just a reminder.  “Tidbits” are great, but we’re all here to see how that bastion of mediocrity looks after 11 weeks of “combat.”  It’s time to answer that 12-year-old question…



 “What Was I THINKING?”







More on the DFFL “Race for Mediocrity” later.  First up – DFFL Playoff Headlines!  Let’s look at how the playoff races are shaping up.  



Lombardi – The Norsemen and the Bolts both sit at 5-and-6 on the season with two games remaining.  Note: Rob’s Norse Crew has the h/h tiebreaker in hand and can win the division with another win over the Bolts in Week 13.

Halas – The Grim Reaper needs just one win or a loss by MGL to wrap up the division title, and possibly a #1 playoff seed.  The 7-and-4 MGL franchise looks like a very solid wild card playoff team and could still wrest the division title away from the Reaper with 2 late wins.



Shula – The Baltimore Ravens can wrap up the division title with a win over YNH/LGJ in week 12 play.  If LeGOAT wins, it’s chaos in the division with one week left.  Could be anyone’s division.



Landry – Full Tilt Poker can wrap up the division title and a first-round bye in the playoffs with either a win vs. the Trojans in Week 12 or a loss by the Burbank Thumpers, or a victory in Week 13 versus the Grim Reaper.



And THERE are your DFFL notes of the week!  Next up – let’s get back to business with the WWIT column, starting with the Genius Division.

______________________________________________________________



And, just as predicted, not one, but TWO perfect scores popped up on the Week 11 Genius docket – One by our esteemed commissioner, Jim Francis of the Bolts, and the other by the man currently dominating the Halas division with the best record in the DFFL, Mr. Alan Sullivan.  Those perfectos will receive 7 Genius points for low score of the week, plus two more Genius points for the perfect scores.  Nice goin’, gentlemen!



The “Genius” silver medal this week goes to our resident Cowboys fan, Robert Abundis of the Killing Fields, who put up another nice week of scoring by losing only one point to the bench.  That’ll be good for 5 Genius points, which moves Robert into a tie for second place in the Genius Division.  Jesus Cortez of the Mob Squad takes down third place honors and 3 Genius points by losing just 2 points to his bench.  (We’ll give out one-point bonuses this week to FTP, the Norsemen, MGL, Burbank, and the Trojans for single-digit losses for the week.)



But – When the dust settled in Week 11 play, our resident Genius, Anthony Pitassi, maintained his 11.5-point lead over the pack, with just two weeks left.  Week 12 could settle things, we’ll have to see how things play out.



OK, here’s how they currently stand after Week 11 of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division, with just 2 weeks of play left….

















GENIUS DIVISION – WEEK 11 STANDINGS – DFFL 2018



1.   Mr. Go Lucky (44.5 points) – Anthony holds his 11.5-point lead.  Get the hardware ready.

2.   The Killing Fields (33 points) – Robert’s strong second half has put him into the mix

2.   Bolts (33 points) – Fireworks next week, when Bolts / Norsemen vie for the division title

2.   Burbank Thumpers (33 points) – Still in this thing, but needs a perfecto to have a shot

5.   Your Name Here (29 points) – No positive score this week, could be out of it.

6.   Run & Gun (24 points) – 2018 not Ron’s year.  He’ll be back next year.

7.   Trojans (21 points) – A great franchise that got bad breaks every week this season.

8.   Baltimore Ravens (20 points) – See below.  This young man is “making his move.”

9.   Grim Reaper (19 points) – Another good week for the playoff-bound Reaper.

10. Mob Squad (10 points) – Still smiling with that big Rams’ win on Monday Night

11. Norsemen (8 points) – Lying in wait for the Bolts game in Week 13

11. Full Tilt Poker (8 points) – Pitiful. Could move up to 10th place, but most likely will not.



Yet to score – Me.  Again.  8 points in 11 weeks?  Awful.



That’s all for the Genius Division.  Looks like Anthony has that baby locked up, unless something kooky happens in the next two weeks.  OK – Let’s get to the meat-and-potatoes of this column, my friends.  We need to find out who should have called the psychic hotline for help with their lineups, but decided to “go it alone,” and totally mess things up.  It is time to ask the question….



What Was I THINKING?”



As usual, the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League this knack for doing something that defies logic, and stretches the imagination of our scoreboard past the realm of believability. 



What might this be, you ask?  Simple.



In Week 11 WWIT play, we had not one, but TWO teams score Genius points… AND WWIT points, IN THE SAME WEEK.  I’m telling you, ONLY in the DFFL.



We’ll get to those “special” franchises that did the infamous “double-play” last weekend in a minute…. But first, let’s hand out the WWIT tarnished gold medal to the franchise that lost a whopping 29 points to the bench in Week 11 play –



Grant Herman, of the Baltimore Ravens.



Grant benched the Colts (against his father’s suggestion), he benched Adam Humphries (after being told he’d have a good week), and benched Josh Adams of the Eagles (a surprise).  The good news?  Grant’s Ravens team won his Week 11 game by almost 30 points!  The BAD news?  The 7 WWIT points he won for this malfeasance of lineup selection has elevated Grant into the top spot in our legendary “What Was I Thinking” competition with just two weeks to play.



Way to go, son!  (I wish I could leave 29 points on my bench, and STILL score 125 points in a game.)



“OK, Steve, tell us about the “double-play” teams!”   No, not yet… Let’s move to the WWIT silver medalists (yes, there were TWO), and what a surprise THIS is – One of the silver medalists is the DFFL franchise that has been LEGENDARY in the area of making late moves to challenge for a “win” in WWIT – Your Name Here, now piloted by Ryan Francis, who lost 23 points to the bench in Week 11.  And – The other 2nd-place weekly finisher, Ron Bolton, of all teams, lost 23 points to HIS bench.  Both teams receive 5 WWIT points, and our thanks, for creating this log-jam. 



OK, here we go… The “double-play” teams were the two Bronze medalists in WWIT for Week 11.  We had a tie for third-worst bench this week – Rob Mielke of the Norsemen, and Jose Cano of the Burbank Thumpers.  Both franchises lost (are you ready?) SIX POINTS TO THEIR BENCH in Week 11. 



SIX.  These two teams get a minus-3 WWIT point score for losing SIX points to their bench for the week, and, as mentioned earlier, ALSO received one GENIUS point each for the single-digit loss for the week.  Only the DFFL could do this.  Oh, and not only THAT, but Jose ALSO receives two EXTRA WWIT points for not benching his IR kicker for the other guy that WAS playing. 



The DFFL. (Laugh) OK, here are the updated WWIT Standings….





WHAT WAS I THINKING DIVISION – WEEK 11 RESULTS - 2018



5.   Dirty Birds (-26 points) – A brand new leader, at the wrong time of the year.

3.   Hoarse-Men (-25 points) – Absolute “Rob-“bery, but it happened.

5.   Pop-Gun Run (-24 points) – I don’t believe this.  This cannot be. Must be a mistake.

5.   Nameless Wonder (-24 points) – The “Miller Move” makes its’ appearance!

1.   Tragic Trojans (-23 points) – Knew he’d fall out of the top three.

1.   Worst Show on Paper (-23 points) – Still hanging around the leaders

3.   Grim Reeker (-22 points) – Perfecto in Genius Division says it all.

9.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-21 points) – Whatzup with that PK thing?

5.   Dead on the Field (-19 points) – Still in the running, I guess. (Not really.)

10. Fully Tilted Poker (-11 points) – I “think” I’m out of it.  Maybe.  (Maybe not.)

11. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Genius Champion-in-waiting.

11. Dolts (-10 points) – One more good week, and he’s eliminated from WWIT



Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word?  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  It’ll be there!  Have a good week!


Tuesday, November 13, 2018

What Was I THINKING? -- Week Ten -- 2018






























Week 10 – The race for mediocrity heats up

Apologies in advance to all of our many subscribers (4?) that love reading our parakeet paper, commonly known to all as the latest WWIT.  Business has stepped in the way of this reporter giving his full attention to every detail, so we may be a little smaller in size than usual.  (Probably a good thing.  Grin)

Problem is, when you take a gander at the standings in WWIT after ten weeks, you’ll notice one definitive thing stands out….

Almost EVERYBODY is still in the running for the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football Leagues’ worst award…. Also commonly known as….

The 2018 “What Was I THINKING?” Award!



More on the DFFL “Race for Mediocrity” later.  Protocol suggests that we normally start things off in the Genius Division, where we’ve seen one DFFL franchise owner step up his game to yet another level – Anthony Pitassi, of Mr. Go Lucky.

Anthony scored another perfect score in Week 10 of DFFL play.  By MY count, this means Mr. Pitassi has scored Genius points in eight of his last nine games in league.  He’s been on fire for a while, now.  Thusly, we’ll give the leader of MGL 7 Genius points for lowest score for the week, and another 2 genius points for the perfecto.  Note: With this nine-point score in Week 10, MGL now leads the pack by a whopping 11.5 points, with just three weeks of regular season play remaining.

Our Week Ten Genius Division second place winner was Jim Francis of the Bolts, who lost just 4 points to his bench for the weekend, courtesy of Frank Gore.  Let’s give the Commish 5 Genius points for the effort.  The Week Ten bronze medal goes to Jesus Cortez of the Mob Squad, who lost just 5 points to his bench for the weekend.  Rounding things out, we’ll give one bonus Genius point each to Full Tilt Poker, the Baltimore Ravens, the Killing Fields, and the Norsemen for their single-digit losses for the week.

OK, here’s how they stand after Week 10 of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division, with just 3 weeks of play left….

GENIUS DIVISION – WEEK 10 STANDINGS – DFFL 2018

1.   Mr. Go Lucky (43.5 points) – Anthony extends his lead to 11.5 points. Call the engraver.
2.   Burbank Thumpers (32 points) – Bad time to have an off week, needs a big score, fast.
3.   Your Name Here (29 points) – Ryan’s capable, but he will need a perfecto this weekend
4.   The Killing Fields (28 points) – R.I.P. Le’Veon Bell. Robert has done well without him.
5.   Bolts (24 points) – A good week that didn’t translate to Week Nine play v. the dirty birds
5.   Run & Gun (24 points) – Still a possibility. You know how goofy the scores can get. :-D
7.   Trojans (20 points) – Just not Andy’s year this year.  He’ll come back strong in 2019.
7.   Baltimore Ravens (20 points) – Grant has his eye on the playoffs, he’s out of it here.
9.   Grim Reaper (10 points) – He’s 8-and-2.  I’m sure he doesn’t care about this WWIT.
10. Mob Squad (7 points) – I told you that you would pass me, Jesus.
10. Norsemen (7 points) – Only the Cards’ D/ST kept Rob from a perfecto in Week Nine
10. Full Tilt Poker (7 points) – Terrific – I’m now in last place.  What a great showing.

Yet to score – The Oakland Raiders (9 Straight quarters, no TD.)

Now, we move to the headline-makers of the DFFL, the WWIT division.  Friends, we have quite a show going on in this 2018 DFFL season.  No time for idle chatter, guys – Let’s ask that burning question that can hurt SO much….

What Was I THINKING?”

Those of you that were paying attention to the Week Nine WWIT results saw our own Jesus Cortez, in just ONE week of play, jump up from the 8-spot, all the way up to the top of the list, with his nine-point WWIT loss. 

My friends, it has happened again.

No, no, not to JESUS.  To none other than one of our top players in the GENIUS Division, -- None other than Andrew Gillette, of the Trojans. 

So, just how bad WAS it for Andy last weekend, you ask? 
Hmm…. Well, Andy benched Eric Ebron (AGAIN), losing 21 points to the bench. 

AND… He benched Derrick Henry (who wouldn’t?).  14 more points lost.

And finally, Bench that Cowboy D/ST, while you’re at it.  13 more points.

All totaled, the Trojans gave back 48 points to the bench in Week Ten of WWIT, which, just like it did to the Mob Squad LAST week, has propelled the Tragic Trojans from the number 7 spot, all the way up to the top of the heap.  Ouch.

The silver WWIT medal in Week Ten goes to Alan Sullivan of The Grim Reaper, who lost 25 points to his bench, good for 5 WWIT points.  The Bronze Medal of Fultility goes to Ron Bolton of the ‘Gunners, who lost 26 points to his bench for the weekend.  We have two “bonus” WWIT points this week – one for Robert Abundis, who held onto Le’Veon Bell until the bitter end, and one for Jose Cano of the Thumpers, for a 20-point bench loss.

Well, that was how the points were won and lost last weekend… All these totals did was tighten everything up even MORE, and not less.  Four teams within 1 point of the top spot, and EIGHT teams, all within just four points.  This is going to be a WILD ride!  OK, here are the standings after Week Ten.


WHAT WAS I THINKING DIVISION – WEEK 10 RESULTS - 2018

1.   Tragic Trojans (-23 points) – First time Andy EVER got into the top three in WWIT.
1.   Worst Show on Paper (-23 points) – Something tells me Jesus won’t win this thing
3.   Hoarse-Men (-22 points) – Rob’s never won a WWIT title.  Don’t think he will. 
3.   Grim Reeker (-22 points) – Week 10’s result is the exception, not the rule. No way.
5.   Dirty Birds (-19 points) – Needs to stay away from a “Herman Blunder.”
5.   Nameless Wonder (-19 points) –Just wait for that patented “Miller Move.”
5.   Dead on the Field (-19 points) – He’s won twice before.  Anything’s possible.
5.   Pop-Gun Run (-19 points) – Umm, yeah, no, I haven’t changed my mind.  No way.
9.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-16 points) – I still don’t think so.
10. Fully Tilted Poker (-11 points) – Hell, I could still win this thing.  I did it before.
11. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Possible 2018 Genius Division champ.
11. Dolts (-10 points) – Forget it.  Better chance of the Jets winning the Super Bowl.

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word?  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  It’ll be there!  Have a good week!

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

WWIT -- Week Nine - 2018