Week five - Sadness in the Ravens' House
Ahh, yes, the
WWIT has returned for yet another week to shine a light on just about ALL of us,
some good, some bad. But… NEVER
mediocre. (Ed. Note: That’s our fantasy football motto around here.)
It’s quite a
stark contrast in production, when you compare THIS Week 5 output with LAST
week’s July 4th Fireworks-style scoring explosion and
record-breaking “Bull Market” play.
Consequently, there’s not as much to yak about in this issue of the WWIT…
So, let’s get
to it, shall we? It’s on to the “nothing
but the meat-and-potatoes” effort from our 12 Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football franchises. It’s time to find out who walked into the
nearest Buffalo Wild Wings sports bar and declared victory in setting their
lineup, and who walked into a group of 100 female “Me-Too” protesters and declared,
“Let’s hear it for Harvey Weinstein!” --
It’s time to ask that weekly question…
“What Was I
THINKING?”
We begin with
the Genius Division, that bastion of fantasy football glory – The weekly
setting of the lineup for your franchise.
Unlike last week, we have no perfect scores. But, we had two franchise owners that came
darned close! The gold medal for WWIT
lineup setting this week goes to none other than Ron Bolton of Run & Gun,
who gunned his way to the top of the DFFL heap by losing just 4 points to his
bench in Week 5. We’ll give Ron 7 points
for the effort, plus one bonus point for it being the PK. The silver medal for Week 5 goes to Anthony
Pitassi of MGL, who lost just 5 points to his bench, with a win over the Ravens. We’ll award 5 points for making my son
cry. (More on that, later.) And, we’ll FedEx the bronze medal to none
other than Jesus Cortez of the Mob Squad, who cracked the Genius Division
ceiling with his first score of 2018, losing just seven points to his bench. 3 points given to Mr. Bundy. No more bonus points this week… Sorry, we ran
out. I’ll buy more, next week.
OK, here’s how
they stand after Week Five of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….
GENIUS
DIVISION – WEEK 4 STANDINGS – DFFL 2018
1. Your Name Here (28 points) – Ryan’s still
sitting on top – For now
2. Run & Gun (20 points) – Here he goes
again, Ron’s chasing after the top spot in 2018
3. Mr. Go Lucky (16.5 points) – Three great
weeks in a row for Mr. Anthony
4. Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Still in
striking distance, his WR’s let him down
5. Trojans (11 points) – Still in the hunt,
when the top spot doesn’t score
6. The Killing Fields (8 points) – Didn’t lose
ground, but he’ll appear in WWIT, we promise
7. Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Ouch. Still better than the old man, though.
8. Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – You know it’s
bad when you write this column, and don’t score.
8. Bolts (5 points) – Tyler Lockett? Oh, YOU’LL be appearing later on, as well.
10.
Grim Reaper (3 points) – Top team in the DFFL, with a strong bench to match.
11.
Mob Squad (3 points) – Hey, at least you’re ahead of The Norsemen, Jesus!
Yet
to score –Norsemen
And there they
go…. “The Smart Guys” of the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League. 5 teams that are already in double-digits in
scoring. But, fear not, my friends! Fortunately for the statistically-strong
stomachs residing in the DFFL, we’ve NOW got SEVEN double-digit scorers in our
prize-winning column below for you to peruse.
So, without further interruption, it’s time to find out what’s happening
in that FAVORITE DFFL pastime… It’s time to ask that fateful question that
shakes this league to it’s core…
What Was I
THINKING?”
Quickly… Our
Week 5 WWIT “winner” for Week 5 is none other than Robert Abundis of The
Killing Fields, who decided to fit 31 points lost to the bench in just TWO players
– Kicker Mason Crosby, who lost just two points…
And Isiah
Crowell, who cost Robert a massive 29
points to his bench.
Ouch. That’ll cost Senor Abundis -7 WWIT points,
plus a BONUS -1 point for setting a record with one player losing 29 points
(AND pissing off Drake the Rapper). This
result vaults “Dead On The Field” into second place in WWIT.
OK… Next … Tying
Robert for first place for Week Five WWIT was Grant Herman of the Baltimore Ravens
(A.K.A. ‘Dirty Birds’), who lost 31 points to his bench. Minus-7 WWIT points for Grant, plus another
-1 WWIT point for having THREE players total the 31 points.
The tarnished
silver medal goes to Jim Francis of the Dolts, who picked up Tyler Lockett off the
waiver wire, and decided NOT to start him.
That cost Jim 15 points, and -5 WWIT points. The bronze-ish medal goes to Andrew Gillette
of the Tragic Trojans, who lost 19 points to his bench. -3 WWIT points for that, and a hearty “thank
you” from us over at Full Tilt, for keeping us out of the WWIT limelight this
weekend.
Finito! Week 5 is in the books.… Here are the full
results for WWIT #5…
WHAT
WAS I THINKING DIVISION – WEEK 5 RESULTS - 2018
1. Grim Reeker (-17 points) – Benched “Drake?” Rappers weren’t happy, -1 bonus point.
2. Dead
on the Field (-15 points) – Back-to-back imperfect scores “boost’ Robert’s game
3. Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – “Football
isn’t played on paper.” (But WWIT does.)
4. Dirty Birds (-13 points) – He’s going to
hate this. He knows it’s coming.
5. Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – Hey, I’ll
take it. No points, holding firm. For
now.
5. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Not my pick
to win WWIT, for sure.
5. Hoarse-Men (-10 points) – Benched
Mahomes? Automatic -1 bonus point.
8.
Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-8 points) – Quietly
having a great DFFL year
9 . Dolts (-7 points) – You know you’re in the
soup with Tyler Lockett blows you up.
9. Tragic Trojans (-7 points) – Had just about
the same WWIT week that we did
11.
Pop-Gun Run (-2 points) – Taking off a -1 point every time he doesn’t score
here
Yet
to score - Nameless Wonder
Well, that’s
all for this week, friends. As always, I
have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday,
normally around Noon. Some of you don’t
have Microsoft Office / Word. If that’s
the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com. Have a good week!
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