Tuesday, October 9, 2018

What Was I THINKING? (WWIT - Week 5)

Week five - Sadness in the Ravens' House

Ahh, yes, the WWIT has returned for yet another week to shine a light on just about ALL of us, some good, some bad.  But… NEVER mediocre.  (Ed. Note: That’s our fantasy football motto around here.) 

It’s quite a stark contrast in production, when you compare THIS Week 5 output with LAST week’s July 4th Fireworks-style scoring explosion and record-breaking “Bull Market” play.  Consequently, there’s not as much to yak about in this issue of the WWIT…

So, let’s get to it, shall we?  It’s on to the “nothing but the meat-and-potatoes” effort from our 12 Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football franchises.  It’s time to find out who walked into the nearest Buffalo Wild Wings sports bar and declared victory in setting their lineup, and who walked into a group of 100 female “Me-Too” protesters and declared, “Let’s hear it for Harvey Weinstein!”  -- It’s time to ask that weekly question…

“What Was I THINKING?”

We begin with the Genius Division, that bastion of fantasy football glory – The weekly setting of the lineup for your franchise.  Unlike last week, we have no perfect scores.  But, we had two franchise owners that came darned close!  The gold medal for WWIT lineup setting this week goes to none other than Ron Bolton of Run & Gun, who gunned his way to the top of the DFFL heap by losing just 4 points to his bench in Week 5.  We’ll give Ron 7 points for the effort, plus one bonus point for it being the PK.  The silver medal for Week 5 goes to Anthony Pitassi of MGL, who lost just 5 points to his bench, with a win over the Ravens.  We’ll award 5 points for making my son cry.  (More on that, later.)  And, we’ll FedEx the bronze medal to none other than Jesus Cortez of the Mob Squad, who cracked the Genius Division ceiling with his first score of 2018, losing just seven points to his bench.  3 points given to Mr. Bundy.  No more bonus points this week… Sorry, we ran out.  I’ll buy more, next week.

OK, here’s how they stand after Week Five of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Your Name Here (28 points) – Ryan’s still sitting on top – For now

2.   Run & Gun (20 points) – Here he goes again, Ron’s chasing after the top spot in 2018

3.   Mr. Go Lucky (16.5 points) – Three great weeks in a row for Mr. Anthony

4.   Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Still in striking distance, his WR’s let him down

5.   Trojans (11 points) – Still in the hunt, when the top spot doesn’t score

6.   The Killing Fields (8 points) – Didn’t lose ground, but he’ll appear in WWIT, we promise

7.   Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Ouch.  Still better than the old man, though.

8.   Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – You know it’s bad when you write this column, and don’t score.

8.   Bolts (5 points) – Tyler Lockett?  Oh, YOU’LL be appearing later on, as well.

10. Grim Reaper (3 points) – Top team in the DFFL, with a strong bench to match.

11. Mob Squad (3 points) – Hey, at least you’re ahead of The Norsemen, Jesus!

Yet to score –Norsemen

And there they go…. “The Smart Guys” of the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League.  5 teams that are already in double-digits in scoring.  But, fear not, my friends!  Fortunately for the statistically-strong stomachs residing in the DFFL, we’ve NOW got SEVEN double-digit scorers in our prize-winning column below for you to peruse.  So, without further interruption, it’s time to find out what’s happening in that FAVORITE DFFL pastime… It’s time to ask that fateful question that shakes this league to it’s core…


Quickly… Our Week 5 WWIT “winner” for Week 5 is none other than Robert Abundis of The Killing Fields, who decided to fit 31 points lost to the bench in just TWO players – Kicker Mason Crosby, who lost just two points…

And Isiah Crowell, who cost Robert a massive 29 points to his bench. 

Ouch.  That’ll cost Senor Abundis -7 WWIT points, plus a BONUS -1 point for setting a record with one player losing 29 points (AND pissing off Drake the Rapper).  This result vaults “Dead On The Field” into second place in WWIT. 

OK… Next … Tying Robert for first place for Week Five WWIT was Grant Herman of the Baltimore Ravens (A.K.A. ‘Dirty Birds’), who lost 31 points to his bench.  Minus-7 WWIT points for Grant, plus another -1 WWIT point for having THREE players total the 31 points.

The tarnished silver medal goes to Jim Francis of the Dolts, who picked up Tyler Lockett off the waiver wire, and decided NOT to start him.  That cost Jim 15 points, and -5 WWIT points.  The bronze-ish medal goes to Andrew Gillette of the Tragic Trojans, who lost 19 points to his bench.  -3 WWIT points for that, and a hearty “thank you” from us over at Full Tilt, for keeping us out of the WWIT limelight this weekend.

Finito!  Week 5 is in the books.… Here are the full results for WWIT #5…


1.   Grim Reeker (-17 points) – Benched “Drake?”  Rappers weren’t happy, -1 bonus point.

2.   Dead on the Field (-15 points) – Back-to-back imperfect scores “boost’ Robert’s game

3.   Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – “Football isn’t played on paper.” (But WWIT does.)

4.   Dirty Birds (-13 points) – He’s going to hate this.  He knows it’s coming.

5.   Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – Hey, I’ll take it. No points, holding firm.  For now.

5.   Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Not my pick to win WWIT, for sure.

5.   Hoarse-Men (-10 points) – Benched Mahomes?  Automatic -1 bonus point.

8.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-8 points) – Quietly having a great DFFL year

9  . Dolts (-7 points) – You know you’re in the soup with Tyler Lockett blows you up. 

9.   Tragic Trojans (-7 points) – Had just about the same WWIT week that we did

11. Pop-Gun Run (-2 points) – Taking off a -1 point every time he doesn’t score here

Yet to score - Nameless Wonder

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!

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