Tuesday, October 2, 2018

"What Was I THINKING?? Week Four

"What Was I THINKING?"

  Week 4 – A record-breaking weekend, and a one-point loss?

.Wow.  Just – WOW.

That’s just about all you can say, when it comes to what became Week Four of play in the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League.  A question, right off the bat – The DFFL has forever had it’s share of the kookiest, zany, out-of-control weeks, literally week-in, and week-out… But NONE of the most historical happenings of the past can match up with this last weekend of play. 

When we teased this episode of WWIT, we stated that this was a record-breaking weekend here in our DFFL. 

Uhh, yeah, you could say that. 

Annually, from year-to-year, you might see one, maybe two new entrants of teams that etch their name into the DFFL Record Book.  Some years, there were NO new records set in any given year.

Then came this week.

In Week 4 of Dunn-Ed play this past weekend, no less than FOUR new records were either posted, or set in stone.  The list of new records for Week Four are –

1)  Team single-game high score – Run & Gun (new record), 163 points

Congratulations to Ron Bolton’s team for setting a new high score record.  And then, 15 minutes later, the Trojans came up and broke Run & Gun’s brand new scoring record ---

2)  Team single-game high score – Trojans (New Record), 171 points.

3)  Highest one-game point total / 2 teams / combined – 290 points

        ---- Run & Gun 163, Bolts 127, Week 4, 2018

4)  2nd-Highest Margin of victory / Regular Season Game – 107 points

        ----- Trojans over Baltimore Ravens, 171-64

The point-scoring that is going on in fantasy leagues all over the United States is just mind-boggling.  I’m certain that there will be more records falling, as play continues.  Note -- We’ve fully updated the DFFL record book, and it is now available to anyone that would be interested in seeing it.  Just ask, I’ll send you a copy.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot – The WWIT!  (Laugh) You know, this was a tough week to scratch out a column when records are falling like this…. But you KNOW that I still can find heartache in our fine league…

So, without further propaganda from the writer of this parakeet paper, I think it’s just about time to find out who used analytics to make their lineup a work of art, and who went and asked some guy named “Art” to make his picks for him... – It’s time to ask the question that we’re ALL here to ask…

“What Was I THINKING?”

We begin with the Genius Division, who I’m SURE will have it’s share of terrific tales of perfect plays in the DFFL… And, I’d be right.  The double-whammy – we had not one, but TWO perfect scores this weekend!  The first one was from the record-setting computer of Run / Gun’s Ron Bolton, who smashed the old high scoring record with his 163 points in Week Four.  We’ll give Ron 7 points for the perfecto, and another 2 way-to-go points for the record-setting performance. 

And, the OTHER perfecto, you ask?  None other than Ryan Francis, of YNH/LGJ fame!  This is Ryan’s fourth consecutive week at or near the top of the charts for perfect lineup setting… We’ll give Ryan 7 points for his version of a “300” game in bowling, and two bonus points for 4 straight weeks in the winners’ circle, and holding on and winning his Week 4 game by a single point. (More on this, later.)

Second place for Week Four stud-dom goes to Anthony Pitassi of MGL and Jim Francis of the Bolts, for losing just 6 points to the ol’ bencherooo.  Third place goes to Alan Sullivan of the Grim Reaper, a 12-point loss to his bench.  We’ll also give Andy Gillette of the Trojans 3 bonus points for his 171 score this weekend.

OK, here’s how they stand after Week Four of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Your Name Here (28 points) – Ryan’s the Kansas City Chiefs of WWIT - Unstoppable

2.   Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Not the best of results this week.  It happens.

3.   Run & Gun (12 points) – Nice job with the new scoring record, Ron!

7.   Mr. Go Lucky (11.5 points) – Back in the hunt with another fine week

4.   Trojans (11 points) – My pick to catch the runaway leader at some point

5.   The Killing Fields (8 points) – Still in the top 6.  And, your KKL team is rocking!

6.   Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Gotta hand it to Grant – He never gave up.

8.   Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – Called it.  Ron buzzed my tower on his way past me.

8.   Bolts (5 points) – Welcome to the party, my friend!

10. Grim Reaper (3 points) – Our resident Bills fan is on the board!

Yet to score – Mob Squad (Gimme back that point!), Norsemen (Viking Hangover continues….)

And there they go….  Yes, when scoring is UP, the Geniuses from the DFFL come out to roost… But, unfortunately, that same scoring binge not only affects the SMART people here in Dunn-Ed…. It also has quite an adverse effect on the mistakes that are made in setting lineups for the weekends to come.  And, boy, did we have a couple of GAFFES, in Week Four play. 

Now, as much as I’d like to just skip over this part of the parakeet paper, well, we just can’t.  It’s the WWIT.  It’s what this paper LIVES for.  So, without any more delay, let’s find out who turned this “Bull Market” into a real BEAR.  It’s time to expose those who said……


Now, just to show all of the masses that this reporter has a kind heart, when it comes to exposing lineup disasters, I’m going to be quick and painless with our #1 lineup-goof-up “winner” this week – Robert Abundis of The Killing Fields.  Roberto lost 37 points to his bench, good for minus-7 points for the weekend.

See?  That wasn’t so bad, was it?  Just yanked it out, and threw it on the table, no muss, no fuss.  But there’s a reason for all the niceties tossed Robert’s way.

We need the space for our second-place WWIT finisher. 

Let’s paint the picture for the reads, shall we?  Every Monday night is DFFL Night in Full Tilt’s crib.  I sit and watch the Monday night game, and while I’m watching that, my son and I watch the FantasyCast, with a special eye into what’s happening with the two other teams in my division – The Trojans, and the Burbank Thumpers.  I had looked at the Dunn-Ed scoreboard before the Chiefs / Broncos game started, and noticed that The Trojans were runaway winners against the Ravens, and the Thumpers looked like a shoo-in, needing just 2 points from WR Sammy Watkins to end THAT game.

So, Grant was watching the FantasyCast in the office, and I’m on the TV in the living room.  I asked Grant… “Watkins put that game away yet?”  Nope, not yet, Grant yelled back.  “OK,” I responded, “just let me know when it’s over.” 

Half-way thru the 1st quarter… “Anything yet, Grant?”  “No, nothing.”  End of the quarter….”Grant?  Anything?”  “Nope.”  Then, I see Mahomes throw one to Watkins, and he dropped it.  Ten minutes later… “Grant??  Anything?”  “Yeah,” he responded…. “Watkins suffered a hamstring injury.  He’s out for the game.”

You have GOT to be kidding me.  You need ONE 20-yard catch, and the game is over, Burbank wins.  JUST ONE.  Denied, and with that, Your Name Here / LGJ defeats The Burbank Thumpers, 84-83.  Another one-point loss for Jose Cano’s team.

I have to say that I’ve never seen something like that happen in the DFFL, but, for those that keep track of how many times the DFFL shocks and surprises us, this shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.  Worse yet, if Jose starts Corey Davis in place of Watkins, Burbank wins by 20+ points.  The Thumpers lost 34 points to their bench, giving them “second place,” and minus-5 goofy points, Yikes.

Give the Ravens the Bronze Medal of futility, for losing 33 points to their bench.  We’ve got three anti-bonus points to give out, and they’re all going to Burbank, for what has to be the worst way to lose a DFFL game, EVER.  (So far, stay tuned.  You KNOW something else will happen later on, this season.)

That’s all.. Week 4 is in the books.… Here are the full results for WWIT #4…


1.   Grim Reeker (-15 points) – Hey, Alan’s 3-and-1 on the season.  I’m sure he’s good with this.

2.   Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – I forgot – Jesus lost 37 bench points, for a -7.

3.   Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – A respite for the team that “won” WWIT LAST year.

3.   Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Anthony had another big win, so he’s good to go, too.

5.   Hoarse-Men (-9 points) – What can I say, Rob?  Are there ANY easy games for the Vikes?

6.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-8 points) – Boom!  Instant street cred with that Watkins thing

7.   Dead on the Field (-7 points) – Two more Matt Ryans, and you’ll be OK to go.

8.   Dirty Birds (-5 points) – Grant lost by over 100 points, I can’t torture him more.  Not yet.

9.   Tragic Trojans (-4 points) – Zero chance of winning this “award.” Time to repo minus-points.

10. Pop-Gun Run (-3 points) – Ron ain’t winning WWIT, either.

11. Dolts (-2 points) – 127 points, and lost.  You deserved better, Jim.

Yet to score - Nameless Wonder (NOT a mis-print.)

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon..  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!

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