Tuesday, October 30, 2018

What Was I THINKING? Week Eight


Scoring is up! 

We’ll be sending out the latest copy of the DFFL record book later this season, but when you see it, make sure to check out the new records being set “left and right” when it comes to individual team scoring.  Red print is taking over the book!  That, and it looks like record-setting scoring binge has spread to the NBA, with Klay Thompson hitting no less than FOURTEEN 3-pointers in a game against the Chicago Bulls.

That’s right, guys – The DFFL is always ahead of the curve.  This reporter will be watching closely, to see if some of the season scoring records will fall, as well.  (It wouldn’t surprise me.)

All right… And, as Rick Grimes would say, “Enough of this!”  (The Walking Dead Reference, for those who don’t know Grimes.)  It’s time to find out who among us are the Rhodes Scholars of the DFFL, and who put their foil-wrapped burrito in the microwave again…. It’s time to ask that burning question…..

“What Was I THINKING?”

We begin, as always, with the Genius Division, A.K.A. the right side of the force… and right away, we can find the two Jedi Knights that tossed perfectos at their DFFL opponents in Week eight…. First, we have Andy Gillette of the Trojans, who pulled off the perfect score for the second time this year.  And, also, We have the Burbank Thumpers’ own Jose Cano, who thumped this reporter (AGAIN!) on his way to another 40-point win over Full Tilt Poker with another perfecto in 2018. 

We’ll give each of these fine fantasy football playas 7 Genius points each, plus two extra points for the perfect setting of the lineups.   

The silver Genius medal this past week goes to the current Genius Division leader, Anthony Pitassi, who set a positive-points lineup for the sixth consecutive week (2 points lost to his bench), good for five Genius points.  The Bronze Genius award goes to two of my favorite people – Grant Herman of the Ravens, and Jim Francis of the Bolts, who both lost just 3 points to their bench last week.  We’ll give these two guys 3 Genius Points each. 

On top of those efforts we’ve already mentioned, we had two more players that lost single-digit gifts to the bench – Alan Sullivan of the 6-and-2 Grim Reaper, and… (Are you sitting down?)  …And … YES, it’s true, Rob Mielke of the Norsemen has scored a point in Genius Division!  He only lost 5 points to his bench, good for ONE POINT!  (Ehhh, he’ll probably give it back next weekend, but hey, let’s let Rob celebrate!  You earned it, big guy!)

OK, here’s how they stand after Week 8 of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Mr. Go Lucky (34.5 points) – Six great weeks in a row for MGL.  Catch him if you can.
2.   Your Name Here (29 points) – Ouch.  Fell back a little, but he’s definitely in the hunt
3.   Burbank Thumpers (23 points) – Jose Cano making his move on the leader board
4.   Run & Gun (21 points) – Oooh, yeah, this one is gonna hurt, stay tuned
5.   Trojans (20 points) – Called it!  Andy was due for a perfecto.
5.   Baltimore Ravens (20 points) – Grant sweated out that Monday game, still alive here
7.   The Killing Fields (18 points) – He’s got 12 more points than I do, he’s a player here
8.   Bolts (13 points) – 156 points, and STILL lost 3 points to the bench.  What?  How?
9.  Grim Reaper (10 points) – All Alan does is win games, that’s all that counts.
10. Full Tilt Poker (6 points) – “Mister Irrelevant.”  Nothing to see here.
11. Mob Squad (4 points) – First the Dodgers, and now this.  Welcome to my world.
12. Norsemen (1 point) – Hold on to this point tightly, Rob. One bad move, and POOF!

Yet to score – (Holding this spot for the Norsemen – for now.)

So, it’s “bye-bye” to the GOOD players of the Genius Division of WWIT.  There they go, taking all of their Genius points with them… But, you KNOW that’s not the end of this sordid tale… Oh, NO, my friends.  There are some of us that should put down all those analytics sheets that deal with the DFFL and pick up a National Enquirer and check out the latest horoscopes.  Let’s find out who needs to start using those telephone psychics and ask THEM who to start.  It’s time to ask that oh-so-hard question….


(Sigh) You know, I always can rely on this group of us that always seem to goof up their lineup.  You know who I’m talking about.  Me, Alan, Rob, Jesus… The usual Suspects.

Not THIS week, my friends.  Not.   Even.  Close. 

The tarnished gold-ish medal for WWIT futility last weekend goes to none other than the man that’s been LEADING the Genius division for the first five weeks or so – Ryan Francis, of Your Name Here / LGJ.  Didn’t start Cam Newton, benched the Seahawks DST, and finally, Benched Peyton Barber instead of Kenjon Barner (strange how just changing ONE letter in the last name means so much), which ended up losing his game against the Baltimore Ravens by three points.  Bang! That will cost YNH/LGJ 7 WWIT points, plus two MORE WWIT’s for losing the game, as a result of the set lineup. 

The same thing happened to our Silver/WWIT medal for Week Eight.  Ron Bolton of Run & Gun started Geronimo Allison and benched Larry Fitzgerald.  Loss of 17 bench points in a 5-point win for the Mob Squad.  I know what you’re thinking – RON BOLTON?  He NEVER goofs up his lineup.  Well, it WAS just one player, but that’ll cost Ron 5 WWIT points, plus a minus-2 for the loss.  No worries, my friends – He’ll never win WWIT.  Everyone has one clanker of a week.  (I’ve had SIX.)  Good luck in Week Nine, Ron.  We know you’ll bounce back hard!

Bronze WWIT medal goes to Robert Abundis of the Killing Fields, who lost just 14 points to his bench, but he scores 3 WWIT points for what normally is a non-scoring total for just about any week.

Th-Th-That’s all, folks.  Week 8 is history.… Here are the full results for WWIT Week Eight, with all of it’s warts…. Check out how tight things are…SEVEN players within 7 points of the leader.  This 2018 WWIT year could get very interesting.


1.   Hoarse-Men (-22 points) – Stopped the bleeding, but still hanging on to the top spot
2.   Dead on the Field (-18 points) – His minus-3 tightens this bunch up even more
3.   Grim Reeker (-17 points) – Dropping in the standings is a good thing!
4.   Pop-Gun Run (-16 points) – From 10th to 4th in one week, still won’t be a factor here
4.   Tragic Trojans (-16 points) – Genius ‘perfecto’ stopped the Trojans’ rise in WWIT
6.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-15 points) – Told ya.  Perfecto last weekend.
6.  Nameless Wonder (-15 points) – It only takes one week to become a “contender,” Ryan.
8.   Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – So close, yet so far, Jesus.  Stay down here with me.
9.   Dirty Birds (-13 points) – Never makes any mistakes!  (show-off.)
10. Fully Tilted Poker (-11 points) – The PK’s are killing me.
11. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Anthony will fight Jim for last place here.
11. Dolts (-10 points) – Tough to screw up when your team puts up 156 points, Commish.

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

What Was I THINKING? (WWIT - DFFL) Week Six

  Week 6 – THAT’s the DFFL that I remember

We were wondering out loud last week to anyone that would listen (which turned out to be my dog, Honey, who looked bored, but hey, sue me), when we said that this 2018 DFFL season didn’t feel like almost ALL of the other seasons – Very close games, wild finishes, last-second heroics – It seemed like 2018 was going to be a different animal….

And then came Week Six.

Now, THIS is the DFFL that I remember!  Exhibit A – Full Tilt Poker needing just 3 points from Aaron Jones to lock out Anthony Pitassi’s 4-and-1 Mr. Go Lucky franchise, with flashbacks of Burbank’s 1-point loss in Week Four looming larger by the minute, then finally getting that third point, but not until the third quarter, in a 113-111 thriller.

Exhibit B – The Baltimore Ravens / Mob Squad game, that had a similar feel – The Dirty Birds, down two points with just the erratic Jimmy Graham to go with, got THAT deed done quickly, courtesy of Graham’s 54-yard catch from Aaron Rodgers during the Packers’ first drive, leading Baltimore to a 140-132 win.

And then, last, but not least, that wild Your Name Here / Trojans slugfest, a game that seemed like a sure Trojan victory going into the last night of play. Ryan Francis was down 20 points on Monday night with just Green Bay’s Davante Adams left to score, then got those 20 points and MORE, with a last-minute TD pass late in the 4th quarter from Aaron Rodgers to the inimitable Davante Adams, giving YNH / LGJ a thrilling, come-from-behind 133-128 win over Any Gillette’s Trojans.

Now, THAT’S more like it!  It’s good to see that the DFFL “flair for the dramatic” has returned for the second half of our Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League.  And, you KNOW that there are more games like these in store….

But… We all know that the members of the DFFL didn’t come here to talk about big wins in the regular season.  Oh, no… THEY come here for the OTHER side of the DFFL coin.  They want to know who goofed up their lineups so bad, that their PC was sitting outside in the trash last night.  It’s time to find out the answer to that now-12-year-old question….

“What Was I THINKING?”

We begin with the Genius Division, the heralded sons of all that is right and true in the Dunn-Ed League.  You know, if you watch how the standings in this division fluctuate, you’ll see which franchise owners are doing the best job at putting their individual teams in the best position to get that valued win, each and every week. 

This week’s gold-medal performance goes to a man that has scored highly in each of the last four weeks, now – Anthony Pitassi of Mr. Go Lucky. Anthony posted a perfect game for Week Six, and deserved a better fate than his two-point loss to Full tilt Poker.  Anthony’s still at 4-2, and a player in this league.  We’ll slide Anthony 7 Genius points for the perfecto, plus one bonus point ll those injuries. 

The silver medal for Week Six goes to The Commish, Jim Francis of the bolts, who only lost 3 points to his bench, good for 5 Genius points.  Bronze medal goes to Alan Sullivan of the Grim Reaper for just a 5-point loss to his bench, good for three Genius points.  We’ll give one Bonus point each to FTP, the Ravens, and the Killing Fields for also having a single-digit bench loss. 

OK, here’s how they stand after Week Six of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Your Name Here (28 points) – Two straight weeks of scoreless efforts, but still on top
2.   Mr. Go Lucky (24.5 points) – Make that FOUR great weeks in a row for Anthony
3.   Run & Gun (20 points) – Just one game v. the Norsemen can throw you out of whack!
4.   Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Hanging on to fourth place, still a contender
5.   Trojans (11 points) – Another tough Monday Night loss for Andy Gillette’s Trojans
6.   Bolts (10 points) – Trubisky and Parkey the only holdouts to stop a perfecto
7.   The Killing Fields (9 points) – Single-digit bench loss scores another point for Roberto
8.   Baltimore Ravens (8 points) – Thank goodness for Jimmy Graham!
9.   Full Tilt Poker (6 points) – “I’m falling, and I can’t get up!”
9.  Grim Reaper (6 points) – Great bench work that didn’t translate into a winning formula
11. Mob Squad (3 points) – Remember, Jesus – It’s a marathon, not a sprint. (What???)

Yet to score –Norsemen (What’s the deal, Rob?)

With the Genius Division in the rear-view mirror, we hesitate to turn our attention to the windshield on our Week-Six trip… But, we must.  It’ what we come here for.  So, no more filler, let’s have that tough slab of fantasy football steak … It’s time to ask for the dessert… Time for…


OK, fasten your seat belts, here we go -- Ya gotta love Rob Mielke and the Norsemen.  He’s in a battle that, around here, we call the latest “family squabble” between Rob and his in-law, Ron Bolton of Run & Gun.  And, like most family members, Rob is kind to his relatives… So kind, mind you, that he left a whopping 24 points on his bench in the R.G. / Norse “battle.  Congrats, Rob!  That’ll get you 7 WWIT points.  No bonus points, because it looks like you tried to throw the game, to make Ron happy.  (Laugh) 

Fortunately for Rob, RON was in a similar “giving mood,” and decided to throw the game between them back to Rob, by losing 23 points to HIS bench.  Now, this had to hurt Ron, because he RARELY appears in WWIT.  Surprise!  Family DOES matter, Ron, so here’s 5 WWIT points for your ledger.  (I guarantee you that these two will most likely post perfectos when Full Tilt plays them.)

Oh, yeah, we still have vitriol to throw around.  We had a tie for the “tarnished silver” in WWIT.  Your Name Here made it’s first appearance in here, when Ryan lost 23 points to HIS bench (and still won.  No justice.)  -5 WWIT points for you, my friend.  Welcome to the party.  The WWIT bronze goes to Jose Cano of the Thumpers (another guy that rarely appears in WWIT).  He lost 13 points to his bench, good for 3 WWIT points.  

Any more WWIT bonus points? 

Let me look.  Oh, yeah, got some.  -2 more WWIT points to Andrew Gillette, for not playing Eric Ebron.  If you ain’t gonna use him, Andy, give him to me, or Grant, or Jim.  Let’s give Burbank a -1 WWIT point for goofing up the kicker thing.  (Didn’t cost him.)

Th-Th-That’s all, folks.  Week 6 is history.… Here are the full results for WWIT #6…


1.   Hoarse-Men (-17 points) – We have a new challenger!  Rob now tied for first (last?)
1.   Grim Reeker (-17 points) – Don’t wait for Ron to join you two, ain’t happening.
3.   Dead on the Field (-15 points) – Robert did the Genius thing this week.
4.   Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – Jesus taking the weekend off.
5.   Dirty Birds (-13 points) – You better duck, Grant.  Jesus is throwing things at you.
6.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-12 points) – Doesn’t belong here, can’t win.
7.   Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – Hey, I’ll take it. No points, holding firm.  For now.
7.   Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Now second in Genius Division.  He’ll fade here.
9.   Tragic Trojans (-9 points) – Ebron.  Luck hasn’t got much more to throw to.  Ebron.
10.  Dolts (-7 points) – No chance.  I can’t see Jim goofing up his lineups enough.
10.  Pop-Gun Run (-7 points) – So much for removing points.  Let’s ADD some, instead!
12. Nameless Wonder (-6 points) – Welcome to the party, Ryan!  Dead last. (That’s good!)

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

What Was I THINKING? (WWIT - Week 5)

Week five - Sadness in the Ravens' House

Ahh, yes, the WWIT has returned for yet another week to shine a light on just about ALL of us, some good, some bad.  But… NEVER mediocre.  (Ed. Note: That’s our fantasy football motto around here.) 

It’s quite a stark contrast in production, when you compare THIS Week 5 output with LAST week’s July 4th Fireworks-style scoring explosion and record-breaking “Bull Market” play.  Consequently, there’s not as much to yak about in this issue of the WWIT…

So, let’s get to it, shall we?  It’s on to the “nothing but the meat-and-potatoes” effort from our 12 Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football franchises.  It’s time to find out who walked into the nearest Buffalo Wild Wings sports bar and declared victory in setting their lineup, and who walked into a group of 100 female “Me-Too” protesters and declared, “Let’s hear it for Harvey Weinstein!”  -- It’s time to ask that weekly question…

“What Was I THINKING?”

We begin with the Genius Division, that bastion of fantasy football glory – The weekly setting of the lineup for your franchise.  Unlike last week, we have no perfect scores.  But, we had two franchise owners that came darned close!  The gold medal for WWIT lineup setting this week goes to none other than Ron Bolton of Run & Gun, who gunned his way to the top of the DFFL heap by losing just 4 points to his bench in Week 5.  We’ll give Ron 7 points for the effort, plus one bonus point for it being the PK.  The silver medal for Week 5 goes to Anthony Pitassi of MGL, who lost just 5 points to his bench, with a win over the Ravens.  We’ll award 5 points for making my son cry.  (More on that, later.)  And, we’ll FedEx the bronze medal to none other than Jesus Cortez of the Mob Squad, who cracked the Genius Division ceiling with his first score of 2018, losing just seven points to his bench.  3 points given to Mr. Bundy.  No more bonus points this week… Sorry, we ran out.  I’ll buy more, next week.

OK, here’s how they stand after Week Five of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Your Name Here (28 points) – Ryan’s still sitting on top – For now

2.   Run & Gun (20 points) – Here he goes again, Ron’s chasing after the top spot in 2018

3.   Mr. Go Lucky (16.5 points) – Three great weeks in a row for Mr. Anthony

4.   Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Still in striking distance, his WR’s let him down

5.   Trojans (11 points) – Still in the hunt, when the top spot doesn’t score

6.   The Killing Fields (8 points) – Didn’t lose ground, but he’ll appear in WWIT, we promise

7.   Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Ouch.  Still better than the old man, though.

8.   Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – You know it’s bad when you write this column, and don’t score.

8.   Bolts (5 points) – Tyler Lockett?  Oh, YOU’LL be appearing later on, as well.

10. Grim Reaper (3 points) – Top team in the DFFL, with a strong bench to match.

11. Mob Squad (3 points) – Hey, at least you’re ahead of The Norsemen, Jesus!

Yet to score –Norsemen

And there they go…. “The Smart Guys” of the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League.  5 teams that are already in double-digits in scoring.  But, fear not, my friends!  Fortunately for the statistically-strong stomachs residing in the DFFL, we’ve NOW got SEVEN double-digit scorers in our prize-winning column below for you to peruse.  So, without further interruption, it’s time to find out what’s happening in that FAVORITE DFFL pastime… It’s time to ask that fateful question that shakes this league to it’s core…


Quickly… Our Week 5 WWIT “winner” for Week 5 is none other than Robert Abundis of The Killing Fields, who decided to fit 31 points lost to the bench in just TWO players – Kicker Mason Crosby, who lost just two points…

And Isiah Crowell, who cost Robert a massive 29 points to his bench. 

Ouch.  That’ll cost Senor Abundis -7 WWIT points, plus a BONUS -1 point for setting a record with one player losing 29 points (AND pissing off Drake the Rapper).  This result vaults “Dead On The Field” into second place in WWIT. 

OK… Next … Tying Robert for first place for Week Five WWIT was Grant Herman of the Baltimore Ravens (A.K.A. ‘Dirty Birds’), who lost 31 points to his bench.  Minus-7 WWIT points for Grant, plus another -1 WWIT point for having THREE players total the 31 points.

The tarnished silver medal goes to Jim Francis of the Dolts, who picked up Tyler Lockett off the waiver wire, and decided NOT to start him.  That cost Jim 15 points, and -5 WWIT points.  The bronze-ish medal goes to Andrew Gillette of the Tragic Trojans, who lost 19 points to his bench.  -3 WWIT points for that, and a hearty “thank you” from us over at Full Tilt, for keeping us out of the WWIT limelight this weekend.

Finito!  Week 5 is in the books.… Here are the full results for WWIT #5…


1.   Grim Reeker (-17 points) – Benched “Drake?”  Rappers weren’t happy, -1 bonus point.

2.   Dead on the Field (-15 points) – Back-to-back imperfect scores “boost’ Robert’s game

3.   Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – “Football isn’t played on paper.” (But WWIT does.)

4.   Dirty Birds (-13 points) – He’s going to hate this.  He knows it’s coming.

5.   Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – Hey, I’ll take it. No points, holding firm.  For now.

5.   Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Not my pick to win WWIT, for sure.

5.   Hoarse-Men (-10 points) – Benched Mahomes?  Automatic -1 bonus point.

8.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-8 points) – Quietly having a great DFFL year

9  . Dolts (-7 points) – You know you’re in the soup with Tyler Lockett blows you up. 

9.   Tragic Trojans (-7 points) – Had just about the same WWIT week that we did

11. Pop-Gun Run (-2 points) – Taking off a -1 point every time he doesn’t score here

Yet to score - Nameless Wonder

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon.  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

"What Was I THINKING?? Week Four

"What Was I THINKING?"

  Week 4 – A record-breaking weekend, and a one-point loss?

.Wow.  Just – WOW.

That’s just about all you can say, when it comes to what became Week Four of play in the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League.  A question, right off the bat – The DFFL has forever had it’s share of the kookiest, zany, out-of-control weeks, literally week-in, and week-out… But NONE of the most historical happenings of the past can match up with this last weekend of play. 

When we teased this episode of WWIT, we stated that this was a record-breaking weekend here in our DFFL. 

Uhh, yeah, you could say that. 

Annually, from year-to-year, you might see one, maybe two new entrants of teams that etch their name into the DFFL Record Book.  Some years, there were NO new records set in any given year.

Then came this week.

In Week 4 of Dunn-Ed play this past weekend, no less than FOUR new records were either posted, or set in stone.  The list of new records for Week Four are –

1)  Team single-game high score – Run & Gun (new record), 163 points

Congratulations to Ron Bolton’s team for setting a new high score record.  And then, 15 minutes later, the Trojans came up and broke Run & Gun’s brand new scoring record ---

2)  Team single-game high score – Trojans (New Record), 171 points.

3)  Highest one-game point total / 2 teams / combined – 290 points

        ---- Run & Gun 163, Bolts 127, Week 4, 2018

4)  2nd-Highest Margin of victory / Regular Season Game – 107 points

        ----- Trojans over Baltimore Ravens, 171-64

The point-scoring that is going on in fantasy leagues all over the United States is just mind-boggling.  I’m certain that there will be more records falling, as play continues.  Note -- We’ve fully updated the DFFL record book, and it is now available to anyone that would be interested in seeing it.  Just ask, I’ll send you a copy.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot – The WWIT!  (Laugh) You know, this was a tough week to scratch out a column when records are falling like this…. But you KNOW that I still can find heartache in our fine league…

So, without further propaganda from the writer of this parakeet paper, I think it’s just about time to find out who used analytics to make their lineup a work of art, and who went and asked some guy named “Art” to make his picks for him... – It’s time to ask the question that we’re ALL here to ask…

“What Was I THINKING?”

We begin with the Genius Division, who I’m SURE will have it’s share of terrific tales of perfect plays in the DFFL… And, I’d be right.  The double-whammy – we had not one, but TWO perfect scores this weekend!  The first one was from the record-setting computer of Run / Gun’s Ron Bolton, who smashed the old high scoring record with his 163 points in Week Four.  We’ll give Ron 7 points for the perfecto, and another 2 way-to-go points for the record-setting performance. 

And, the OTHER perfecto, you ask?  None other than Ryan Francis, of YNH/LGJ fame!  This is Ryan’s fourth consecutive week at or near the top of the charts for perfect lineup setting… We’ll give Ryan 7 points for his version of a “300” game in bowling, and two bonus points for 4 straight weeks in the winners’ circle, and holding on and winning his Week 4 game by a single point. (More on this, later.)

Second place for Week Four stud-dom goes to Anthony Pitassi of MGL and Jim Francis of the Bolts, for losing just 6 points to the ol’ bencherooo.  Third place goes to Alan Sullivan of the Grim Reaper, a 12-point loss to his bench.  We’ll also give Andy Gillette of the Trojans 3 bonus points for his 171 score this weekend.

OK, here’s how they stand after Week Four of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Your Name Here (28 points) – Ryan’s the Kansas City Chiefs of WWIT - Unstoppable

2.   Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Not the best of results this week.  It happens.

3.   Run & Gun (12 points) – Nice job with the new scoring record, Ron!

7.   Mr. Go Lucky (11.5 points) – Back in the hunt with another fine week

4.   Trojans (11 points) – My pick to catch the runaway leader at some point

5.   The Killing Fields (8 points) – Still in the top 6.  And, your KKL team is rocking!

6.   Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Gotta hand it to Grant – He never gave up.

8.   Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – Called it.  Ron buzzed my tower on his way past me.

8.   Bolts (5 points) – Welcome to the party, my friend!

10. Grim Reaper (3 points) – Our resident Bills fan is on the board!

Yet to score – Mob Squad (Gimme back that point!), Norsemen (Viking Hangover continues….)

And there they go….  Yes, when scoring is UP, the Geniuses from the DFFL come out to roost… But, unfortunately, that same scoring binge not only affects the SMART people here in Dunn-Ed…. It also has quite an adverse effect on the mistakes that are made in setting lineups for the weekends to come.  And, boy, did we have a couple of GAFFES, in Week Four play. 

Now, as much as I’d like to just skip over this part of the parakeet paper, well, we just can’t.  It’s the WWIT.  It’s what this paper LIVES for.  So, without any more delay, let’s find out who turned this “Bull Market” into a real BEAR.  It’s time to expose those who said……


Now, just to show all of the masses that this reporter has a kind heart, when it comes to exposing lineup disasters, I’m going to be quick and painless with our #1 lineup-goof-up “winner” this week – Robert Abundis of The Killing Fields.  Roberto lost 37 points to his bench, good for minus-7 points for the weekend.

See?  That wasn’t so bad, was it?  Just yanked it out, and threw it on the table, no muss, no fuss.  But there’s a reason for all the niceties tossed Robert’s way.

We need the space for our second-place WWIT finisher. 

Let’s paint the picture for the reads, shall we?  Every Monday night is DFFL Night in Full Tilt’s crib.  I sit and watch the Monday night game, and while I’m watching that, my son and I watch the FantasyCast, with a special eye into what’s happening with the two other teams in my division – The Trojans, and the Burbank Thumpers.  I had looked at the Dunn-Ed scoreboard before the Chiefs / Broncos game started, and noticed that The Trojans were runaway winners against the Ravens, and the Thumpers looked like a shoo-in, needing just 2 points from WR Sammy Watkins to end THAT game.

So, Grant was watching the FantasyCast in the office, and I’m on the TV in the living room.  I asked Grant… “Watkins put that game away yet?”  Nope, not yet, Grant yelled back.  “OK,” I responded, “just let me know when it’s over.” 

Half-way thru the 1st quarter… “Anything yet, Grant?”  “No, nothing.”  End of the quarter….”Grant?  Anything?”  “Nope.”  Then, I see Mahomes throw one to Watkins, and he dropped it.  Ten minutes later… “Grant??  Anything?”  “Yeah,” he responded…. “Watkins suffered a hamstring injury.  He’s out for the game.”

You have GOT to be kidding me.  You need ONE 20-yard catch, and the game is over, Burbank wins.  JUST ONE.  Denied, and with that, Your Name Here / LGJ defeats The Burbank Thumpers, 84-83.  Another one-point loss for Jose Cano’s team.

I have to say that I’ve never seen something like that happen in the DFFL, but, for those that keep track of how many times the DFFL shocks and surprises us, this shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.  Worse yet, if Jose starts Corey Davis in place of Watkins, Burbank wins by 20+ points.  The Thumpers lost 34 points to their bench, giving them “second place,” and minus-5 goofy points, Yikes.

Give the Ravens the Bronze Medal of futility, for losing 33 points to their bench.  We’ve got three anti-bonus points to give out, and they’re all going to Burbank, for what has to be the worst way to lose a DFFL game, EVER.  (So far, stay tuned.  You KNOW something else will happen later on, this season.)

That’s all.. Week 4 is in the books.… Here are the full results for WWIT #4…


1.   Grim Reeker (-15 points) – Hey, Alan’s 3-and-1 on the season.  I’m sure he’s good with this.

2.   Worst Show on Paper (-14 points) – I forgot – Jesus lost 37 bench points, for a -7.

3.   Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – A respite for the team that “won” WWIT LAST year.

3.   Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Anthony had another big win, so he’s good to go, too.

5.   Hoarse-Men (-9 points) – What can I say, Rob?  Are there ANY easy games for the Vikes?

6.   Beautiful Downtown Burbank (-8 points) – Boom!  Instant street cred with that Watkins thing

7.   Dead on the Field (-7 points) – Two more Matt Ryans, and you’ll be OK to go.

8.   Dirty Birds (-5 points) – Grant lost by over 100 points, I can’t torture him more.  Not yet.

9.   Tragic Trojans (-4 points) – Zero chance of winning this “award.” Time to repo minus-points.

10. Pop-Gun Run (-3 points) – Ron ain’t winning WWIT, either.

11. Dolts (-2 points) – 127 points, and lost.  You deserved better, Jim.

Yet to score - Nameless Wonder (NOT a mis-print.)

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon..  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!