Week 3 - That guy above kinda looks like me...
This 2018 NFL
season has been quite a roller-coaster ride to this point, hasn’t it? And, when it comes to tracking the pulse of
professional football on a weekly basis, there’s no better testing of the
barometer than risking a gaze into the happenings here in the Dunn-Edwards
Fantasy Football League. Check out these
two “Fantasy Football Facts” that have become evident at this stage of NFL
play….
Fantasy Fact #1
– Is scoring UP in the National Football League? Well, it depends on the stats you use. Remember the DFFL average scoring stats that
we discovered were surprisingly high LAST week (109.54 AVERAGE team
scoring)? Well, in DFFL play in Week
Three, that number dipped sharply to a new low of 92.6, which suggests one
thing to me – WWIT might be fun…
Fantasy Fact #2
-- Well, now, HERE’S a surprise. The
DFFL is all of three weeks old, and there are NO undefeated teams in league
play. After THREE WEEKS. Typical Dunn-Ed, isn’t it? “We’re the kinder, gentler fantasy football
league.” Yeah, right… Be honest – We ALL
want to be 3-and-0 on the season, and bad beat stories that make or break us
weekly abound, don’t they? (Laugh)
It’s just how
we roll here in Dunn-Ed, friends. That’s
why we HAVE to be the most successful zero-cost league in fantasy
football. We all care! (That, and we just can’t wait to steal a win
from our opponents that are either family members, or friends. I’m in two high-octane pay-per-year leagues….
But on Monday, when the dust settles on another crazy week of NFL games, guess
which league I look into, first.
Yep. The DFFL.
But enough of
this sob-story, you’re saying to yourselves.
Let’s get to what REALLY matters – Who GOOFED last weekend? (Laugh) So, without further propaganda from
the writer of this parakeet paper, I think it’s just about time to find out who
joined the DFFL Mensa League for gifted franchise owners this week, and who
pushed and shoved their way to the front of the concussion protocol line…. –
It’s time to ask the question that we’re ALL here to ask…
“What Was I
THINKING?”
First stop –
The Genius Division, where many strive to reach the top, while others (like me)
can only dream of…. And, a quick look at the standings this week tell me that
we have not ONE, but TWO franchises that are kickin’ some serious butt with
their weekly lineup settings, EVERY week.
The gold medal this week goes (for the second consecutive week) to our
friend Jose Cano, of the resurgent Burbank Thumpers. Jose lost a grand total of just TWO points to
his bench, by not starting George Kittle of the ‘Niners (and benching Zach
Ertz, something NOBODY would do). We’re
giving Jose 7 good-job points for this week.
Now, you’d
think that back-to-back 7-spots in Genius Division play would vault you to the
top of the standings. Nope. Reason?
Because Ryan Francis of Your Name Here has scored ANOTHER second place
finish in Week 3, barely losing out on top honors with his 3-point loss to the
bench. We’re giving 5 points for another
nice effort, plus a +1 bonus point for 3 straight weeks of excellence.
The Week 3
Bronze medal (worth +3 points) goes to the Trojans, for their 5-point loss as a
result of a PK set. Bonus points this
week go to Robert Abundis of The Killing Fields for losing just 6 points to his
bench, plus an additional +1 point for NOT starting the Chiefs DST, And Jesus
Cortez of the Mod Squad, just because. I
didn’t want to give Robert points, and leave Jesus with nothing. I know, it doesn’t make any sense… My point,
exactly. (Grin)
OK, here’s how
they stand after Week Two of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….
GENIUS
DIVISION – WEEK 3 STANDINGS – DFFL 2018
1. Your Name Here (19 points) – That’s 19 out
of a possible 21 points, setting a record pace
2. Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Back-to-back
+7 finishes, easily could have been 3-0
3. Trojans (8 points) – Just a kicker away from
perfection this week, will challenge all year
3. The Killing Fields (8 points) – Couldn’t
start the Chiefs D/ST, another good week in Genius
5. Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Not this week,
Bird-Boy. Welcome to WWIT.
6. Mr. Go Lucky (6.5 points) – Tough week for
our friend, Anthony.
7. Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – Out of the
running already after just 3 weeks. No
surprise.
8. Run & Gun (3 points) – I’m guessing
you’ll pass me by next week, Ron. Just a
hunch.
9. Mob Squad (1 point) – It’s a kinder and
gentler WWIT scribe this week, feeling generous!
Yet
to score – Bolts, Grim Reaper, Norsemen
And there they
go…. And, as much as it pains me, we
MUST continue our elevator down into the fantasy football version of
Hades. Let’s see just who tried VERY
hard to lose another game this weekend with his “blind squirrel finds acorn” selection
strategy, as we now ask that fabled question…
What Was I
THINKING?”
First, A small
addendum to those of you that would like to know just how we arrive at the
scoring here in WWIT… We’ll use the Week 3 scoring for Rob Mielke’s team, The
Norsemen, as our guinea pig.
Last Sunday,
The Norsemen benched WR Sterling Shepard and Kicker Dan Bailey. Shepard ended up posting 14 fantasy points,
while one of Rob’s starters, Stefon Diggs, scored just one fantasy point. Had Rob started Shepard, he would have scored
13 more points than officially listed in the FantasyCast, therefore, Shepard’s
WWIT score is 13. Rob “should” have
started Boswell, which would have earned 6 more points than that goose-egg that
Bailey posted, so, Bailey’s WWIT score is 6.
We add the 13 + 6, to arrive at a total of 19 points lost to his bench.
So, when you
see Shepard at 14, WE see him as +13 in WWIT-Land. Boring, huh?
Agree. End of school for the day,
let’s move on.
Well, as you
can imagine, I’ve stalled long enough, and must personally take a bow for my
incredibly short-sighted decision-making process when it came to setting Full
Tilt Poker’s lineup for the week.
Here’s how that
process went… 1) Being a Charger fan, I thought that the only way that the team
could avoid getting Rivers killed was a short dump-off pass tack. That’s why I started Austin Ekeler over Chris
Carson. Wrong! 13 points lost, there. 2)
Short passing attack? Better
bench Mike Williams! Wrong! Lost 15 POINTS there. 3) I’m
sticking with Trey Burton over Vance McDonald.
Wrong again, you idiot! Lost 13
more points with that genius move. Total
loss – 41 points, which wins me -7 goof points, plus and additional =1 idiot
point because I should have actually THOUGHT about it.
Finishing a
distant second in WWIT this weekend was Anthony Pitassi of MGL, who lost 39
points to his bench. We’ll give Anthony
-5 for second place., plus another -1 goof point for benching Garropolo. Actually, we should give MGL a positive
point, for foreseeing that injury coming!
But.. I won’t, because I’m biter.
The tarnished bronze medal for WWIT this weekend goes to Alan Sullivan
of the Grim Reaper, who lost 31 points to the bench. -3 points for Alan.
Oh, and before
we go, we’ve got some more minus points to give out… -1 point to Grant Herman’s
Dirty Birds for BENCHING the three guys I told him to start. He woulda had a perfecto, if he listened to
me. (On second thought, I lost 500
points to my bench. He was right, NOT
listening!) Let’s see, who else…
Oh! Rob Mielke of the Norsemen gets a -1
for that Viking fiasco against Alan’s Bills.
That’s all..
Week 3 is finally dark.… Here are the full results for WWIT…
WHAT
WAS I THINKING DIVISION – WEEK 3 RESULTS - 2018
1. Grim Reeker (-15 points) – Gotta be feeling
good about beating the Vikings on Sunday
2. Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – Don’t get
too comfy ap there, Alan. I’m closing
fast!
2. Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Sorry about
the loss of Garropolo, Anthony. Bad Break.
4. Hoarse-Men (-9 points) – Have fun at the game
Thursday, Rob. Good luck!
5. Worst Show on Paper (-7 points) – How are
YOU within 3 points of ME? Can’t win this.
6. Tragic Trojans (-4 points) – Another guy
that has no chance of winning this WWIT.
7. Pop-Gun Run (-3 points) – Gotta start that
Kupp guy. He’s shifty.
8. Dirty Birds (-2 points) – I told you to
START Lutz and Rodgers, bud!
8 Dolts (-2 points) – Two bonus points won’t
bring you down to my level, Jim.
Yet
to score - Beautiful Downtown Burbank, Nameless Wonder, Dead on the Field
Well, that’s
all for this week, friends. As always, I
have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday,
normally around Noon.. Some of you don’t
have Microsoft Office / Word. If that’s
the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com. Have a good week!
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