Tuesday, September 25, 2018

"What Was I THINKING?" - Week Three - 2018

Week 3 - That guy above kinda looks like me...

This 2018 NFL season has been quite a roller-coaster ride to this point, hasn’t it?  And, when it comes to tracking the pulse of professional football on a weekly basis, there’s no better testing of the barometer than risking a gaze into the happenings here in the Dunn-Edwards Fantasy Football League.  Check out these two “Fantasy Football Facts” that have become evident at this stage of NFL play….

Fantasy Fact #1 – Is scoring UP in the National Football League?  Well, it depends on the stats you use.  Remember the DFFL average scoring stats that we discovered were surprisingly high LAST week (109.54 AVERAGE team scoring)?  Well, in DFFL play in Week Three, that number dipped sharply to a new low of 92.6, which suggests one thing to me – WWIT might be fun…

Fantasy Fact #2 -- Well, now, HERE’S a surprise.  The DFFL is all of three weeks old, and there are NO undefeated teams in league play.  After THREE WEEKS.  Typical Dunn-Ed, isn’t it?  “We’re the kinder, gentler fantasy football league.”  Yeah, right… Be honest – We ALL want to be 3-and-0 on the season, and bad beat stories that make or break us weekly abound, don’t they?  (Laugh)

It’s just how we roll here in Dunn-Ed, friends.  That’s why we HAVE to be the most successful zero-cost league in fantasy football.  We all care!  (That, and we just can’t wait to steal a win from our opponents that are either family members, or friends.  I’m in two high-octane pay-per-year leagues…. But on Monday, when the dust settles on another crazy week of NFL games, guess which league I look into, first. 

Yep.  The DFFL.

But enough of this sob-story, you’re saying to yourselves.  Let’s get to what REALLY matters – Who GOOFED last weekend?  (Laugh) So, without further propaganda from the writer of this parakeet paper, I think it’s just about time to find out who joined the DFFL Mensa League for gifted franchise owners this week, and who pushed and shoved their way to the front of the concussion protocol line…. – It’s time to ask the question that we’re ALL here to ask…

“What Was I THINKING?”

First stop – The Genius Division, where many strive to reach the top, while others (like me) can only dream of…. And, a quick look at the standings this week tell me that we have not ONE, but TWO franchises that are kickin’ some serious butt with their weekly lineup settings, EVERY week.  The gold medal this week goes (for the second consecutive week) to our friend Jose Cano, of the resurgent Burbank Thumpers.  Jose lost a grand total of just TWO points to his bench, by not starting George Kittle of the ‘Niners (and benching Zach Ertz, something NOBODY would do).  We’re giving Jose 7 good-job points for this week.

Now, you’d think that back-to-back 7-spots in Genius Division play would vault you to the top of the standings.  Nope.  Reason?  Because Ryan Francis of Your Name Here has scored ANOTHER second place finish in Week 3, barely losing out on top honors with his 3-point loss to the bench.  We’re giving 5 points for another nice effort, plus a +1 bonus point for 3 straight weeks of excellence.

The Week 3 Bronze medal (worth +3 points) goes to the Trojans, for their 5-point loss as a result of a PK set.  Bonus points this week go to Robert Abundis of The Killing Fields for losing just 6 points to his bench, plus an additional +1 point for NOT starting the Chiefs DST, And Jesus Cortez of the Mod Squad, just because.  I didn’t want to give Robert points, and leave Jesus with nothing.  I know, it doesn’t make any sense… My point, exactly.  (Grin)

OK, here’s how they stand after Week Two of the 2018 DFFL Genius Division….


1.   Your Name Here (19 points) – That’s 19 out of a possible 21 points, setting a record pace
2.   Burbank Thumpers (14 points) – Back-to-back +7 finishes, easily could have been 3-0
3.   Trojans (8 points) – Just a kicker away from perfection this week, will challenge all year
3.   The Killing Fields (8 points) – Couldn’t start the Chiefs D/ST, another good week in Genius
5.   Baltimore Ravens (7 points) – Not this week, Bird-Boy. Welcome to WWIT.
6.   Mr. Go Lucky (6.5 points) – Tough week for our friend, Anthony.
7.   Full Tilt Poker (5 points) – Out of the running already after just 3 weeks.  No surprise.
8.   Run & Gun (3 points) – I’m guessing you’ll pass me by next week, Ron.  Just a hunch.
9.   Mob Squad (1 point) – It’s a kinder and gentler WWIT scribe this week, feeling generous!

Yet to score – Bolts, Grim Reaper, Norsemen

And there they go….  And, as much as it pains me, we MUST continue our elevator down into the fantasy football version of Hades.  Let’s see just who tried VERY hard to lose another game this weekend with his “blind squirrel finds acorn” selection strategy, as we now ask that fabled question…


First, A small addendum to those of you that would like to know just how we arrive at the scoring here in WWIT… We’ll use the Week 3 scoring for Rob Mielke’s team, The Norsemen, as our guinea pig.

Last Sunday, The Norsemen benched WR Sterling Shepard and Kicker Dan Bailey.  Shepard ended up posting 14 fantasy points, while one of Rob’s starters, Stefon Diggs, scored just one fantasy point.  Had Rob started Shepard, he would have scored 13 more points than officially listed in the FantasyCast, therefore, Shepard’s WWIT score is 13.  Rob “should” have started Boswell, which would have earned 6 more points than that goose-egg that Bailey posted, so, Bailey’s WWIT score is 6.  We add the 13 + 6, to arrive at a total of 19 points lost to his bench.

So, when you see Shepard at 14, WE see him as +13 in WWIT-Land.  Boring, huh?  Agree.  End of school for the day, let’s move on.

Well, as you can imagine, I’ve stalled long enough, and must personally take a bow for my incredibly short-sighted decision-making process when it came to setting Full Tilt Poker’s lineup for the week. 

Here’s how that process went… 1) Being a Charger fan, I thought that the only way that the team could avoid getting Rivers killed was a short dump-off pass tack.  That’s why I started Austin Ekeler over Chris Carson.  Wrong!  13 points lost, there.  2)  Short passing attack?  Better bench Mike Williams!  Wrong!  Lost 15 POINTS there.  3)  I’m sticking with Trey Burton over Vance McDonald.  Wrong again, you idiot!  Lost 13 more points with that genius move.  Total loss – 41 points, which wins me -7 goof points, plus and additional =1 idiot point because I should have actually THOUGHT about it.

Finishing a distant second in WWIT this weekend was Anthony Pitassi of MGL, who lost 39 points to his bench.  We’ll give Anthony -5 for second place., plus another -1 goof point for benching Garropolo.  Actually, we should give MGL a positive point, for foreseeing that injury coming!  But.. I won’t, because I’m biter.  The tarnished bronze medal for WWIT this weekend goes to Alan Sullivan of the Grim Reaper, who lost 31 points to the bench.  -3 points for Alan.

Oh, and before we go, we’ve got some more minus points to give out… -1 point to Grant Herman’s Dirty Birds for BENCHING the three guys I told him to start.  He woulda had a perfecto, if he listened to me.  (On second thought, I lost 500 points to my bench.  He was right, NOT listening!)  Let’s see, who else… Oh!  Rob Mielke of the Norsemen gets a -1 for that Viking fiasco against Alan’s Bills. 

That’s all.. Week 3 is finally dark.… Here are the full results for WWIT…


1.   Grim Reeker (-15 points) – Gotta be feeling good about beating the Vikings on Sunday
2.   Fully Tilted Poker (-10 points) – Don’t get too comfy ap there, Alan.  I’m closing fast!
2.   Mr. Not-So-Lucky (-10 points) – Sorry about the loss of Garropolo, Anthony. Bad Break.
4.   Hoarse-Men (-9 points) – Have fun at the game Thursday, Rob.  Good luck!
5.   Worst Show on Paper (-7 points) – How are YOU within 3 points of ME? Can’t win this.
6.   Tragic Trojans (-4 points) – Another guy that has no chance of winning this WWIT.
7.   Pop-Gun Run (-3 points) – Gotta start that Kupp guy.  He’s shifty.
8.   Dirty Birds (-2 points) – I told you to START Lutz and Rodgers, bud!
8    Dolts (-2 points) – Two bonus points won’t bring you down to my level, Jim.

Yet to score - Beautiful Downtown Burbank, Nameless Wonder, Dead on the Field

Well, that’s all for this week, friends.  As always, I have all the e-mails to ship out the parakeet paper every week, on Tuesday, normally around Noon..  Some of you don’t have Microsoft Office / Word.  If that’s the case, just check out the weekly WWIT at www.theacescasinoblog.com.  Have a good week!

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