Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Aces Casino Blog: It's Time For That Annual "Rite Of Passage" For All Hot-Blooded American Males (And Don't Forget The Ladies, Too) -- The SUPER BOWL!


At Aces Casino, well, It's simple -- We LOVE us some Super Bowl, and one of the big reasons that our orange county casino party company adores this football rite of passage is because we NEVER lose with our Super Bowl picks.

Yep.  It's true.  We found a sure-fire way to predict just which of the two teams headed to frosty New York for Super Bowl 48 is going to win the game back in 1995.  It was Henny-Penny, the piano-playing chicken from Knott's Berry Farm in Buena Park, California.  Every year, we got the staff over at the BP tourist trap to have Ms. Penny pick between two placards with the two NFL team helmets involved in the game.  She was undefeated in her selections.  17 in a row, and it only cost us 25c a pick.  Now, THAT'S value. 

Then, disaster struck.  Henny Penny went to that great KFC in the sky after the 2011 Super Bowl between the Green Bay Packers and the Pittsburgh Steelers.  Yeah, we tried another chicken, but it just wasn't the same.  The mojo was lost.

So, instead of feeling sorry for ourselves over here at Aces Casino, we picked ourselves up off the floor, and searched the galaxy for the next Henny-Penny.  Didn't take long.  Right away, we discovered that there was another talent in the area of NFL selections -- Papa, the miniature donkey, from Blank Park Zoo in Des Moines, Iowa, had gone five-for-five in this same field.  That's good enough for us.  OK, Papa - Give us the pick.

2012 -- Papa, the Mini-Donkey, about to make us rich.

BOOM!  We've stumbled upon another Super Bowl Savant!  We were really happy, until the NEXT NFL season, when we discovered that the Blank Park Zoo was retiring Papa the Donkey, and hiring three red pandas to take over the art of football prognostication.  Then, we watched in horror as these three pandas couldn't decide which of the two teams would win.  2 of them picked Baltimore, and 1 picked 'Frisco.  Sorry, Blank Park Zoo -- That's not good enough.  If your pandas can't agree, we're not going with their pick.

So, it was back to the drawing board.  Far and wide we searched for the next Henny-Penny, the next Papa....And found her!  Jody, the football-picking elephant, the pachyderm that had gone undefeated in three SB selections, would become the next official Aces Casino game picker.


 2013 -- Jody.  Slight controversy, but no worries.  We know who Jody picked.

Now, THIS is where controversy ran rough-shod over the crew here at Aces Casino.  The staff at the zoo that was in charge of their animals' selection of the winner of the Super Bowl didn't follow the criteria that Aces Casino has used since 1995 to actually determine the winner of the game.  When Jody walks up and picks up the melon with Baltimore's name on it and ate it, we immediately declared a winner - The Baltimore Ravens!  Now, I don't know how the ZOO interprets the pick, but here at Aces Casino, if one of the picks is just too tasty to pass up, that HAS to be the winner.  WE don't care if the ZOO misinterprets the animal's selection.  The pick was the RAVENS, and THAT'S who WE went with.  We're sorry that the Zoo bet on the wrong team, but that's their problem.  Your selector picked the Ravens, dudes.  Game Over.  Aces 19, Zoo, Zero.

Whew.  That was tougher than we thought, but all was well with OUR pick.  Thanks, Jody.  This is just too easy, we thought to ourselves.... That's 19 in a row.  Can't wait for next season.  Then, another setback.  We found out thru channels at the zoo that Jody was also retiring from the football picking ranks, and going back to "Zoo Animal," of all things.

(Sigh.)

Well, back to the drawing board.  But don't worry, my friends of the Aces Casino Blog. You KNOW we'll get our picks in.  Come back on Thursday, January 30th, and find out which incredibly talented Super Bowl prognosticator will keep our winning streak alive.  We'll see you on Thursday, get your note pads ready!

No comments:

Post a Comment