Thursday, April 18, 2013

Aces Casino Blog: Time for April's Edition of "Stupid Criminals, Crazy Photos, and Dumb Wedding Pranks!"

Everybody within the sound of this Blog knows what the wacky crew over at Aces Casino Entertainment, well-known as the top Orange county casino party company in SoCal, does best in this crazy world we live in - Putting on fabulous, entertaining, one-of-a-kind casino night parties(Ed. Note: Seriously, we ARE that good.  I mean, who ELSE in our industry has a four-year-old blog that posts articles twice a week?  That's Check-Mate.)  However, what some people that don't partake in this parakeet paper we call the Aces Casino Blog might NOT know about us is simply this - We LIVE for goofy movies, stories, ideas and pictures to pass on ro our many (4?) blog subscribers.  When we're not out making some worthy fundraising chair a bazillion dollars for their very important charitable organization, we're out looking for the next "Pet Rock" of Blog-info to pass along a starving contingency of Aces Blog readers.

OK, maybe we don't need room in our trophy case for that ever-elusive Pulitzer, but hey, It's something to do while the construction and design crew is out in the back, making so much noise that no one can hear anything, while they build the next outstanding piece of casino equipment for our company.

Bottom line: Any time we come across something that has to be shared with the masses, we write another blog article.  So, to that end, we're back with another entry into the Aces Casino Blog - This one appropriately entitled, "Stupid Criminals and Disturbing Photographs."  Hope you like it....

#1 -- "If you can't even come up with a good fake name, give up your dream of being a crook"

Circumstances: On June 10, 2010, a man named Frankie Portee was riding in the back of a car when it was pulled over by the police. Portee had multiple outstanding probation warrants, and was understandably concerned that the cops would find out about them. So he cleverly decided to identify himself with a fake name.  I’ll let Associate Justice Mark V. Green, who wrote the recent Massachusetts Appeals Court opinion affirming Portee’s conviction, take it from here:
Trooper Alan Driscoll noticed that the defendant was not wearing a seat belt and asked the defendant his name and date of birth in order to cite him for a seat belt violation. The defendant gave the false name of “Daniel Atkins” and a birth date of January 28, 1983.
Trooper Driscoll ran the name “Daniel Atkins” though the computer in his cruiser, and learned that there was an active arrest warrant for a Daniel Atkins, who had a birth date indicating an age in approximately the same range as the date provided by the defendant. Atkins's physical description appeared to match the defendant.
Whoops. Driscoll returned to the car and started to question the increasingly confused and nervous Portee, who apparently had no idea that he’d given the name of a wanted man. He responded with what, at the time, must have seemed like the only reasonable option: pushing Driscoll to the ground and trying to run away. This scheme, too, went awry; Portee was subdued, arrested, and sentenced to four years in state prison. The real Daniel Atkins may still be at large.

How he could’ve been a lot smarter: Portee could’ve worn his seat belt. Better yet, he could’ve just dispensed with the car entirely and decided to ride a bicycle.
How he could’ve been a little smarter: Been ready with a better pseudonym. Something trustworthy, like “Joe Innocent.”
How he could’ve been a little dumber: “Hello, my name is Trooper Driscoll. No, wait, that’s your name. Ahh, I’m so drunk right now.”
How he could’ve been a lot dumber: “The name’s, uh, Ayman. That’s right. Ayman al-Zawahiri.” [brushes hands together in gesture of extreme confidence]
Ultimate Dumbness Ranking (UDR): I feel for Portee. This is more a case of bad luck than stupidity. But, as they say, luck is the residue of design. If you know you might be in a situation where you’ll have to give the police a fake name, you ought to be prepared with a pseudonym that you’re absolutely sure is clean. Scour the Internet for lists of centenarians or National Merit Scholars. Take control of your fake identity. 3 out of 10 for Portee.

#2 -- "Worst Sports Sign Of The Week"

Wow.  Just.  WOW.  Not "Photoshopped."  Wow.

#3 -- "You Put An Airbag WHERE?"

Spoiler Alert:  The bride is about to blast off...

The motto of the day?... "Always end your blog with a YouTube video, you'll never go wrong."  That's all for the ol' A.C. Blog for Thursday.... We promise to do better next time when the top Orange County casino party company on the west coast returns on Monday with back-to-back articles about some brand new casino games coming soon (or already here) to a casino near you.  (Is Thackerville close to you?  Just askin'.)  "You know you love it."  Have a good weekend, and keep those cards and dice in the air!

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