It's a funny thing about working at Aces Casino, A.K.A. "The Second-Happiest Place On Earth" (That place up the 5 freeway with the mouse has title to first place there) -- When you do most of your so-called "work," It's usually on the weekends, which leaves those precious Monday thru Thursday dates wide open. (Ed. Note: Speak for yourself. There's a LOT of pre-planning work and itinerary adjustments that need to be done at the Orange County casino party champions during the week.)
So, what to do when the weekdays are winding down? Why, go to the movies, of course. That is, after we get our daily paperwork and telephone calls done, of course. (Ed. Note: Uh-huh. SURE.) Fortunately for the team here at Aces Casino, there's a nice, BIG theater called the Regal Theaters 16 right next to our facility. We can almost WALK to the Regal Theater from here. So, as you can tell, we go to the movies whenever we can.
OK, OK, we go to the movies a LOT.
It got us to thinking.... We should create our own "movie review blog." Gee, when you think about it, I think we just DID! But, you know us here at Aces Casino -- We might be the best Orange County casino night party team in the southland, but when it comes to the cinema, as the saying goes, "The worse the movie is, the better we like it." Think about it - You secretly LOVE those awful movies, too. We do. Heck, do you remember Mystery Science Theater 3000? Those guys made a LIVING tearing bad movies apart.
That's right, my friends. Tell me I'm wrong. When you're stuck watching one of those el-stink-a-dora movies, you start writing and inserting your own dialogue into it. It's fun, you can admit it. Hey, we're just gettin' our money's worth.
You know, I have one rule when it comes to films -- I have to believe that what I'm seeing on the screen is actually possible. I had no problems with Independence Day, I thought It's possible that an ape as big as Kong is sitting on some deserted island right this second, and I always suspected that the wax mannequins at museums DID really move around and talk. But Kevin James getting with Rosario DAWSON? They're a COUPLE?? Come on, that's just not possible. It's just like me and Scarlett Johansson getting together. Ain't gonna happen. Ya lost me right then and there, Zookeeper. And a bunch of talking animals that must have gone to the "Mr. Ed School of Talking Animals" isn't going to help out this dinosaur-sized egg. AWFUL picture.
Our 2011 Razzie ballot will have this inane piece of celluloid at the top of our "please incinerate this film ASAP" list. And PLEASE stop giving Adam Sandler MONEY to MAKE these films. I know he's got his own studio and can make anything he wants, but come ON. You can do better. Hey, Dan Patrick has a pipeline to Sandler, Adam uses him in all of his films. DAN! TELL HIM! Don't be a "yes man." I know you like being able to tell people you're in movies. You do a good job in his films, but the films are just AW-FUL. They're not really movies. They don't count. Do the right thing next time, Dan. Just say "No."
(Ed. Note: In the interest of fairness, there are two films from 2011 that the Aces Casino crew did NOT see, but definitely would have made the Bottom 5 if they HAD been seen - "Bucky Larson - Born To Be A Star," and "Twilight - Breaking Dawn, Part 1." Aces Casino doesn't do Sandler's lackeys or boring vampire / werewolf pix. There goes the reviewer's job.)
Well, that's all from the Orange County casino night leaders - turned movie critics. Next week, we'll aim our blog-guns at another of the golden families of TV - We'll finally chronicle our visit to Calabasas and what happened when you combine the Aces Casino party crew with the Kardashian family. That's coming out next Monday.
We'll see you next week, have a good weekend, and if you're looking for someone to help you with your next casino night party,. give the Orange County casino party leader, Aces Casino, a call.
Oh, and check out the Razzies. Especially YOU, Sandler.