Monday, January 30, 2012

Aces Casino Blog: Casino Party 101, A.K.A. "Which Tables Are Best To Have At My Next Casino Party?"


When it comes to finding out what the top Orange County casino party company known throughout the southland as Aces Casino does best, the answer would probably be something like, "we strive for excellence in the field of putting on elegant, professional casino events."  It's been widely known for some time that our little team of casino party pros at Aces Casino has access to literally EVERY casino-themed games that Las Vegas and the casino world has to offer.

Translation:  "If you've seen it in Vegas, Aces has it."

That's just one of the things that makes us a popular Orange County casino night company.  But, that's not the ONLY thing we do here.   Oh, no, there's MUCH more than just throwing the tables at the parties and getting out of the way.  For 18 years now, Aces Casino Entertainment has gone the extra mile with each and every client that brings us aboard to help them with their event, something that is so important to us.  And the reason that we DO all this pre-planning itinerary work is very simple.

Simply this -- Every casino night party is different.

That's right, my friends.  There might be some events that have basically the same configuration, but that's where the similarities usually end.  Clients have been coming to Aces Casino for almost two decades now, and putting on all kinds of events that fit our specific qualities; From Christmas parties to Grad nights, from birthday parties to employee networking events to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs,  every group is different, and every group has certain "favorite" games.

The new kid on the block, "King High Poker."

That's where we come in.  Aces Casino literally has EVERY exotic game in the industry.  Oh, sure, Aces has Blackjack, Craps, Roulette, Poker, all the staples on the casino gaming scene... But the company ALSO has games that some players may not have even HEARD of - Ultimate Texas Hold-'Em, 3-Card Poker, Caribbean Stud Poker, 3-Way Action, Pai Gow Poker (my fave), Let It Ride, even the Australian game known as King High Poker, a game that was just launched in 2011.  Seriously, whether the game is 6 months old or 100 years old, if you want a certain game at your next event, you'd best come to Aces Casino.  They know 'em all, and HAVE 'em all, believe me.

Now, for those of you that are planning an event in the next few days, weeks or months, and haven't quite settled on the games you'd like to have at your intimate in-home party, here are a few helpful tips that might assist your thought processes, when it comes to figuring out the best games for your guests to enjoy.... And, for this example, we'll assume a guest list of about 30-45 guests, give or take a few...

Blackjack - Yep, almost a gimme.  Gotta have at least one of these, maybe two, if you have the room.  Everybody either knows or would like to learn the game of Blackjack.  Rare is the time we won't see one of these at an Aces Casino event.

Craps -This is the game we call the "party machine."  It can be the most intimidating game on the casino floor, but in party mode, where you can take the time to teach the players the ins and outs of the game, and what all the betting spaces mean, it's the best game to have at just about ANY in-home event.  If you have room for a huge, 4' x 12' monstrosity in your game room at the event, bring one of these aboard.  You'll be glad you did.

Roulette - Ah, yes, the game that mathematicians and systems players have been trying to beat for years.  Bottom line - Aces Casino has the most beautiful Roulette tables in the industry, and they're all casino size and quality, just like the "big boys" in Vegas have.  It's about 4' x 7', so it's kind of big, but nothing screams "Orange County casino party" like a Roulette table.  Helpful hint - If your expected gathering is looking like it'll be 50/50, men and women, this table is one you should consider.

 Oooh, pretty!

Poker - Now, on the other hand, if your group is going to be predominantly of the "male" persuasion, you'd best consider a poker table in place of the Roulette table.  That early-2000's poker boom created a huge market for these tables, and there are a lot of guys that would love to take on their buddies in a game of Texas Hold-'Em, especially when the chips are phony.  Helpful hint - Remember, you'll need at least 9 chairs for this game to operate properly at your party.  The Dealers have their own chair, don't worry about them.

Those are just a few of the countless number of suggestions that Aces Casino can make when discussing the various combinations of party tables to bring to your next event.  Hey, we're not known as the best Orange County casino night party company in SoCal for nuthin'.  Give us a call and try us on for size.  Our in-house "propaganda ministry" will be glad to answer any of your party questions.

Coming attractions in the next couple of weeks right here on the Aces Casino Blog is one of our favorite subjects - In-depth coverage of the 2012 Aces Casino company party, also known as the "Blackmail Hour."  People always used to say that someone at the company should be filming these soirees for posterity.  Well, now we DO, and we'll cover the latest Aces invasion the first chance we get, or whenever the camera cools off.  The actual date of the event is up in the air as this "goes to press," but when Aces hosts the party, we'll get the lowdown on the happenings, we promise. 

There are also some interesting and timely subjects being addressed by the Aces Casino Blog staff in the next week or so.  Thursday, we'll chronicle the selections by the staff of the 3 craziest casino party events in Aces Casino history.  Then, next week, you can check out the team's irreverent look at nutty "world records" in the United States and abroad, as well as Part 3 of our in-depth discussion of the game of Craps in our "Aces Casino College of Casino Game Knowledge" series.  'Til then, have fun at your next event, and we'll see you on Thursday!


Thursday, January 26, 2012

Aces Casino Blog: When It Comes To Cheating At Blackjack, NO One Was Better Than Dustin Marks


Very early on, this Orange County casino party company known as Aces Casino found out something VERY interesting in their first years of business -- There are some people out there in this big, beautiful world that are VERY adept with their hands, especially when holding playing cards.  (Ed. Note: Thought we were about to hit the 'dump' button on that one.  You're OK, but watch those 'hands.')

Back in the day when Aces Casino was first forming the nucleus of their casino party entertainment team, the decision was made to not only have dealers that could easily DEAL the specific games - they wanted ENTERTAINMENT, people that were funny, eclectic, men and women who were 'fun' people.  I remember at one of the very first "casting calls" for Aces Casino, the company requested entertaining people join them at the Aces Seminar.  And, let me tell you, we got what we were looking for - entertainers, comedians, and one group that I didn't expect.

Magicians.

Now, when you have an Orange County casino night company with the word "entertainment" right in the name, no one in MY book fits that bill better than magicians.  I've always LOVED magic acts.  I'm one of those saps that applauds every time the bunny comes popping out of the top hat, and marvels when the guy shows us has a coin in his hand, and then, POOF.  It's gone.  I LOVE magic acts, so when it came time to add some much-needed entertainment to our team, we hired two magicians to deal at the events.  (We now have four that we rotate here and there to different events in SoCal.)  
My son, who makes food disappear.

Right away, these magicians on our party crew showed me something that I never even thought of before... Not only can these guys make coins and bunnies appear, they can also be VERY adept at making playing cards appear and disappear.  No doubt, I thought to myself -- This is PERFECT for Aces Casino.  And it was.  We've always been on the cutting edge of supplying the perfect entertainment tool for all of our southern California clients, and with the addition of our "magic team," Aces Casino instantly became the leader in Orange County, San Diego, San Bernardino and Los Angeles casino party events. 

Then, something ELSE dawned on me - I wonder just how many people are so incredibly talented at "making magic" try to use their talents at the legalized casinos in California, Nevada and across the United States and the world.  No wonder all of those pit bosses, boxmen and shift bosses have that scowl on their face.  They're looking for cheaters.  Cheaters that can severely dig into a legal casino's profit margin.  Hey, after seeing what some of OUR magic team could do with coins, chips and cards, I can see why the casinos would be bullish on eliminating cheaters.


Because of our contacts in the industry, we had the chance to speak with a few of the top heads of security for two different casinos in Las Vegas about ten years or so ago, and got a virtual tour of what were the most elaborate security facilities in the industry.  It was an amazing sight, seeing all of these monitors being watched by some of the sharpest security personnel in the world, all looking for one thing - Cheating at their casino tables.  At our visit to the Stardust Hotel and Casino, we actually were witness to one player attempting to switch the chip he bet on a Roulette table in order to make more money on a winning play.  They caught him, and eventually prosecuted him for cheating.

After seeing all the steps taken to guard against people trying something like that Roulette cheat tried (and failed), I thought that attempting to cheat THESE casinos was fruitless, to say the least.

And that's when the name "Dustin Marks" came up.

When asked if there was anyone that was successful at consistently cheating these two casinos we had visited, both heads of security brought up the one name of a gentleman that, to this day, had cheated casinos out of literally MILLIONS of dollars, and had NEVER been caught.  Dustin Marks.  Or, as told to us, THAT was the name that the casinos KNEW him as.  To this day, no one actually knows his real name.

 Don't play "Go Fish" for money with this man.

"Dustin Marks" is known as one of the world’s most famous insider cheats. Not only had he been a casino dealer, but he had also been one of the very few cheaters who had managed to cheat the casinos where he worked for several years without anyone ever being able to catch him.  He WORKED for the casinos!  Ouch.  That's gonna leave a mark.  (Ed. Note: No pun intended, I'm told.  That's two.)

Dustin Marks was born in the 1950s and is known to be THE most famous insider cheaters in the United States. He had worked in several well known casinos in Las Vegas during the 1970s and thru the 1980s. He had mastered several different cheating methods in blackjack over the years, mostly dealing with his adept handling of the cards.

One of his specialties had been second dealing where he used to peek at the card on top of the deck and then deal the second from the top cards to the players while reserving the top card for his partner. Though the technique had been invented and used by many other players before Dustin, he had mastered it like no other. He was also a master of the "False Shuffle," or a shuffling method that looked to the naked eye like a true shuffling of the cards, when in reality, the dealer was "mechanizing" the deck, or setting it up to play the way the dealer wanted it to.


A partner would come to his table and would place a $100 or a $25 bet, and then Dustin would begin the deal. Since casinos at that time were already aware of several different cheating methods, the betting amount was kept to $100 and not more in order to avoid any scrutiny from the pit bosses. However, Dustin had managed to perfect his shuffling techniques so well that he was able to manipulate his decks in front of the pit bosses without them knowing it.

While playing with his accomplices, Dustin used to peek at the top card in a very sneaky way and when there was a high value card he would signal his partner who would then place a high bet.  Dustin would then ensure that the high value card was dealt to his accomplice. This would give their team an edge over the casino and would allow them to win a much greater share of Blackjack hands.  This movement of his was so incredibly quick and so hard to detect, it looked just like second nature to the players AND the casino management.  I'm sure that it would also fool our Orange County casino party team, as well.  Aces Casino is good, but not THAT good.  (Grin)


Yes, for many years, the man known as "Dustin Marks" successfully carried out his scam, and in process, won millions of dollars at the casinos where he worked by cheating his bosses. However, the interesting part about his career is that though he made so much of money and cheated right under the noses of the casinos, he was never caught during his career.

And that's why why Aces Casino, the top Orange County casino night party company in the industry, LOVES to have magicians at our tables.  Our chips are fake.  That, and we usually cheat FOR the players, not AGAINST them. Yes, we'd be really bad dealers at the REAL casinos, but our team is PERFECT for your next party.  Give Aces Casino a call today, and set up your next casino night party!


Monday, January 23, 2012

Aces Casino Blog: What Happens When You Mix The Kardashians With Aces Casino? I'm Glad You Asked..


I don't know WHY it happens - It just happens.

Every time -- And I mean EVERY time -- you take the Aces Casino party crew and mix it together in the same place where Hollywood-types, sports stars and/or faux-celebrities are hanging around, something ALWAYS happens.

EVERY time.  Set your watch by it.  It'll happen.

Oh, and we must make this crystal clear, right up front -  it's normally not a good thing.  The history of these past confrontations, A.K.A. "the stuff that legends are made," have been more than adequately chronicled in past editions of this parakeet-paper blog from Aces Casino.

And, we're talkin' about some DOOZIES here, friends -- Bruce Willis throwing our Blackjack table overboard on the Queen Mary; Robert Wagner causing a major "commotion" at another "21" table; Joan Rivers making it her goal in life to terrorize our Orange County casino party crew every minute of still another elegant event; Steven Spielberg's departure from an event early when he let it be known that he couldn't win a single hand at the tables, and left, "broke."  Time, after time, after TIME.  Without fail.  Uncanny.

It got to where we'd avoid celebs at our parties, for fear of jinxing them or their latest films, teams, or projects.  Didn't work.  Saw Charlie Sheen at an event, didn't talk to him, thinking that would break the streak... Three weeks later, Chuck Lorre fired him from "Two And A Half Men."  Saw Brandi Passante (Storage Wars) at a poker table, playing in one of our tournaments.  She was eliminated 10 minutes later.  We went to go and meet the Pawn Stars one weekend, but they were lucky.  They weren't at the shop when we came by, therefore avoiding the "celebrity jinx," it appears.. 

Seriously.  I'm surprised the Hollywood Reporter hasn't picked up on this phenomenon yet.  It's like the S. I. Curse, the Madden Curse, and the goat from Wrigley Field all rolled into one big, giant mega-curse.

But, being the top Los Angeles casino night party company in the southland tends to place us directly in the cross-hairs of some of the biggest party planners and event coordinators in the entertainment industry that are looking for the perfect casino night party, and almost 100% of these incredibly talented people know virtually NOTHING about "the curse."  And that's fine, because we're always looking to find a way to break the streak of crazy happenings at one of our next fun-filled galas.  Hey, the events are always terrific - All we need to do is avoid the random table splash-down, alcohol-induced vitriol or horrible losing streaks brought on by our celebrated guests, and we're in there.

So, with this in mind, it shouldn't surprise anyone when, in the middle of the 2011 party season, a call came in from a client that was throwing a surprise party for his wife up north of where we're located, in the city of Calabasas.  WAY up north.  And in the middle of the week, not on the weekend.

Now, we're based in Orange County (with our main office in southern L. A. County), so Calabasas is quite a poke for our team.  That's a 2.5 hour drive.  And gas is probably $6/gallon in Calabasas.  This is an event that our party crew wasn't too quick to sign up for.

Until one of our staffers, upon hearing the location of the event, uttered something like, "Hey, Calabasas.  That's where the Kardashians live!"

Oh, no.

Well now, wait a minute.  Would visiting this group of Ryan Seacrest-designed reality show pseudo-celebs count as a visit with the stars?  We'd seen the show before on the office TV.  I was surprised when I saw Bruce Jenner on the screen, he of the 1976 Decathlon Gold Medal for the USA.  Hey, there's one of my heroes.  Did he change his last name?  Then, 10 seconds later, Kim Kardashian walked into the room to talk to Jenner, and BOOM!  OK, don't change the channel.  We're watchin' this.  I don't care WHO changed their names.

It was decided.  OK, yeah, we're taking the party.  Contracted with the client, knowing full well that we'd be going out to Calabasas a few hours earlier than normal, so we could go up there see just how big the city of Calabasas was.  Then, after some crack detective work (Ed. Note: 30 seconds on the 'net.  Banacek, you ain't.), it was discovered that the Kardashian sisters owned a clothing store right near their place of residence, and it appears that the store is pretty famous - A place called "Dash."  Oh, I get it.  Cute name. 

Then, someone said that one of the sisters had just recently married a player for the Los Angeles Lakers (Lamar Odom), and the die was cast.  That was all she wrote.  We're doin' this.  Ladies and gentlemen of the best Orange County casino night company in the southland, pack your bags.  We're goin' to Dash.

I. Q. Question #1 - Which of these does not belong?

Boy, it was a good thing we left early.  The traffic getting up to Calabasas was BRUTAL, but the Aces Casino team, as diligent as ever, got there in plenty of time.  It had been decided that the best way to smoke out a Kardashian would be to go to their clothing store, "Dash."  And, by the power of our $3 smartphone, the address and location of the facility was an easy find, and only about ten minutes or so from where we currently were.

So, in no time flat, there we were - Driving into the parking lot of the store that some wanna-be-Kardashian clones would LOVE to be visiting - "Dash."  And, as things usually evolve whenever Aces Casino is involved, one thing IMMEDIATELY stood out - The 8-foot-tall gentleman walking right by our car, and heading in the direction of "Dash."  One of our team (A HUGE Laker fan) immediately recognized him to be L.A. forward Lamar Odom.

BOOM!

He immediately bolted out of the car, and roamed right over to where Mr. Odom was walking, and began chatting with this very large Laker player.

One Problem.  Our co-hort didn't realize that when he rapidly approached Odom, he totally cut in front of none other than the infamous Khloe Kardashian herself, one of the sisters that is heavily involved with the E!-Network show's plot-lines.  Needless to say, this did NOT sit well with our reality-TV super-diva.  She proceeds to lay into our staff member with a vengeance, calling him everything from rude to, wait, how did she put it?  Well, let's just say that it wasn't something that he'll name his first child.

GREAT, I'm thinking to myself - We're not even in the DOOR yet, and we're already behind the eight-ball.  No worries, I think to myself - Us two remaining Aces Casino team members get out of the car, and head on over to the Pier Six Dash-Brawl.  By the time the two of us get up to the three of them, we notice another problem - Odom and Rodney (our team member) are chattin' up the Lakers, which ANYONE could tell is NOT going over very well with Khloe.  In other words, she's ticked, and I find this out when she turns away from the Laker pow-wow, stares right through me with a look that would have melted "The Terminator," and storms into the clothing store.

Oh, no, I think to myself.  This is not good.

Agh, heck -- We drove out all this way, might as well see it through.  So, by this time, Odom and Rodney are both walking into the store, and Khloe's nowhere to be seen.  we walk into "Dash," and notice immediately that there are now a grand total of 7 people in this store -- The three of us, the Laker player and his girlfriend (Ed. Note: Accuracy submits that the two are possibly married, although this cannot be confirmed with the State of California) and two female sales people, two ladies that someone should give their OWN reality show.  More on that in a moment.

Well, OK.  Time to take a look around, and the first thing that I notice is this clothing store looks just like my early-90's bachelor pad when I was rooming with two old college buddies.  There is stuff EVERYWHERE.  On the floor, on the tables, some things on hangers, total disarray... It looks like what Wal-Mart looks like four hours after they open the doors for Black Friday.  I'm surprised, but I feel right at home.  Rodney feels right at home, too -- He's still yakkin' with Odom, and does so for the whole time out there.  They're havin' a GREAT time talking.

Then, it happens.  I notice that Ted (my other team member) has decided to go up to the sales girls behind the counter to ask a question, or make an observation (his specialty).  I wander up so take in these sights, and have found out something interesting -- He's asking them more than one question about the store and the layout, and hasn't gotten so much as a nod or a look from these two.  They're too busy talking about what they're going to wear to some party they're going to either tonight or some other time.

Ted decides to repeat his question to the staff (he wanted to find something for his wife), and they flat out ignore him.  AGAIN.  THAT'S when Ol' Ted makes his fatal mistake - Exposing his award-winning sarcasm to the masses at Dash.  After looking at me with a look that asked, "what's going on here," he turns back to the two sales girls and asks them, "Hey, ladies, are these clothes all bunched up in this huge pile on the floor part of some half-off special?"

Like an Eastwood movie, these two employees of Dash turn their head slowly towards him, and one of them finally speaks.  "We haven't got to that stuff yet, chill.  Don't worry about it, Khloe doesn't mind that being there.  You shouldn't be in here.  We're taping in the store at 5:30pm, we don't want you in here."

I look at my watch.  It's 11:20am, and there isn't a camera crew, a trailer, a grip, NO ONE around this 7-person "hotbed of activity." Gee, isn't a six-hour time block just a bit early to "prep the set?"  I'm guessing that the pile of clothes won't be in any of the shots the camera crew catches later.  At this point, I'm wondering to myself if Dash's mission statement starts with the words, "we don't want you in here," when the main event begins.

Right then, who should pop out from the back room but Khloe Kardashian herself, and once she sees us, her Swarzenegger look hasn't changed.  "Honey, have to go," she tells Lamar, who's still chatting with Rodney and doesn't hear her talking to him.  She fixes THAT rather quickly, when she walks right up to Rodney, and allegedly tells him, "Excuse me!  I'm TRYING to talk to my HUSBAND!" 

Whoa.

Ted immediately says to me, "we're gettin' 86-ed out of here, aren't we?"  Odom looks at Rodney, and utters the line of the day.  "Boss says we gotta go."  Yeah, I'm gettin' that impression, big man.  Only THEY aren't the only ones leaving.  WE are, too.  we begin to walk out of the store, right behind the Queen and her forward, and as we pass thru the doors, I take one look back at the counter, and the sales girls are right back to doing what they do best.  Nothing.

WE get back in our car after getting one last dirty look from that Kardashian girl, and speed off to the event that brought us to Calabasas in the first place.  We set up, do the event, it's a BIG hit as usual, just like the Orange County casino night crew we are ALWAYS does, and eventually, we make our way back to our home facility.

As we unload the equipment from another Aces Casino job well done, we look up at the company's long-standing motto as it's printed above the entrance.  "This Beats Working."  Not a truer word has been said.  Aces Casino is a GREAT place to work, or "not" work, as the definition might state.

But, in the back of my mind, I just can't get that other catchy motto out of my head.  I wonder how much the painters would charge to change the Aces Casino company motto to, "We don't want you in here."

Nahhhh.  We'll stick with the original.  Besides, I'm guessing that Aces will be around much longer, anyway.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Aces Casino Blog: Top 5 (Or Is Is Bottom 5?) Movies In 2011 That Truly Deserve One Of Those "Razzies"


It's a funny thing about working at Aces Casino, A.K.A. "The Second-Happiest Place On Earth" (That place up the 5 freeway with the mouse has title to first place there) -- When you do most of your so-called "work," It's usually on the weekends, which leaves those precious Monday thru Thursday dates wide open.  (Ed. Note: Speak for yourself.  There's a LOT of pre-planning work and itinerary adjustments that need to be done at the Orange County casino party champions during the week.)

So, what to do when the weekdays are winding down?  Why, go to the movies, of course.  That is, after we get our daily paperwork and telephone calls done, of course.  (Ed. Note: Uh-huh.  SURE.)  Fortunately for the team here at Aces Casino, there's a nice, BIG theater called the Regal Theaters 16 right next to our facility.  We can almost WALK to the Regal Theater from here.  So, as you can tell, we go to the movies whenever we can.

OK, OK, we go to the movies a LOT.

It got us to thinking.... We should create our own "movie review blog."  Gee, when you think about it, I think we just DID!  But, you know us here at Aces Casino -- We might be the best Orange County casino night party team in the southland, but when it comes to the cinema, as the saying goes, "The worse the movie is, the better we like it."  Think about it - You secretly LOVE those awful movies, too.  We do.  Heck, do you remember Mystery Science Theater 3000?  Those guys made a LIVING tearing bad movies apart.

That's right, my friends.  Tell me I'm wrong.  When you're stuck watching one of those el-stink-a-dora movies, you start writing and inserting your own dialogue into it.  It's fun, you can admit it.  Hey, we're just gettin' our money's worth.

  Which brings us to this little baby. "The Golden Raspberry."

Yes, the Aces Casino crew has been doin' the movie-thingy for years now.  But, after suffering through a VERY long "losing streak" when it comes to films to avoid, we did a little internet research to find out if there was anyone on the 'net that not only covered bad movies, but CELEBRATED them.  

That little curiosity led us to something called "The Razzies."

There it was, right there on our monitor -- The Razzies, a very knowledgeable and creative group of theater-going men and women that make it their life's quest to shine a bright light on some of the worst films of a given year, or, as they put it, "incinerating cinematic sins for over three decades."  We loved the "Razzies" right away, they were one of us.  Two of our Aces Casino team immediately joined, and are planning to attend this years' 32nd Annual Razzie Awards Ceremony on Saturday, February 25th, 2012. 

I won't go into the history of the Razzies (and it IS extensive), but you can find a link to this incredibly entertaining bunch of people here.  What WE'RE here for is to allow all of our readers a "sneak peek" at OUR Razzies ballot for 2012, specifically, our picks for the worst films of the 2011 season.  Hey, we're entitled.  By our count, we've seen 62 films this year.  And included in some really spectacular movies, we've seen more than our share of total woofers.

So, without further adieu, here is the official Aces Casino Top 5 worst movies of 2011 in reverse order, brought to you by the best Orange County casino party team (and part-time movie critics) in SoCal....

#5 -- "Battle -- Los Angeles"

I remember we were all pumped to see this film when the trailers came out, and then, we finally got our chance to see it.  Ugh.  When you start rooting for the aliens to blow up all of these "heroes," you know you've hit the bottom of the barrel.  I love great special effects as much as anyone, but the special effects crew attached to this film couldn't save it.  We thought this film would challenge for the top spot on our list, until we saw some of the others. 

#4 --  "Alvin & The Chipmunks - Chipwrecked"

I hated these lil' screechers back in the 60's, and my opinion hasn't changed.  50 years doesn't dull the senses, people.  I don't get it.  The music's awful, the "story's" so incredibly lame (an active volcano?  And why the pelican costume?), and those VOICES.  My ears are still ringing.  WHY did I DO this to myself?  Oh, NOW I remember -- I was leaving another film, one that'll show up later on this list.  Must've already had enough ammo to skewer THAT film.

 Please don't vote THEM off the island.

#3 --  "Zookeeper"

You know, I have one rule when it comes to films -- I have to believe that what I'm seeing on the screen is actually possible.  I had no problems with Independence Day, I thought It's possible that an ape as big as Kong is sitting on some deserted island right this second, and I always suspected that the wax mannequins at museums DID really move around and talk.  But Kevin James getting with Rosario DAWSON?  They're a COUPLE??  Come on, that's just not possible.  It's just like me and Scarlett Johansson getting together.  Ain't gonna happen.  Ya lost me right then and there, Zookeeper.  And a bunch of talking animals that must have gone to the "Mr. Ed School of Talking Animals" isn't going to help out this dinosaur-sized egg.  AWFUL picture.

#2 -- "Transformers - Dark Of The Moon"

I'm sorry, I just can't take any more crap from these talking trucks and cars.  That, and you didn't bring back Megan Fox.  What's up with that?  Who was that goofy blonde that took her place?  Let me guess, she "knows somebody" at the studio.... What a horrible actress.  If I was the United States, I'd start thinking that Optimus Prime and his band of characters are just milking us for attention and don't really need to find their "robo-trinkets," after all.  I'm starting to suspect that Optimus and the Decepticons are in cahoots, and they're just using Earth as their very own paintball stadium.  No more of these movies, please.

#1 -- "Jack & Jill"

Holy crap on a cracker, THIS McBarker's a RUNAWAY winner from the Aces Casino crew. If we all make a New Years' resolution right now that we'll refuse to buy any more tickets to an Adam Sandler film, we may stop these films from being made, or at least force Sandler and Dennis Dugan to actually use a SCRIPT next time.  Sandler's "yes men" need to stop telling the big dufus that poop and fart jokes aren't funny after the first 30 seconds.  Seriously.  Sandler as himself AND playing his sister?  You have GOT to be kidding me.  But, thinking that he's gotta break his bad film streak any time now, we went to see it.  BIG mistake. 

Our 2011 Razzie ballot will have this inane piece of celluloid at the top of our "please incinerate this film ASAP" list.  And PLEASE stop giving Adam Sandler MONEY to MAKE these films.  I know he's got his own studio and can make anything he wants, but come ON.  You can do better.  Hey, Dan Patrick has a pipeline to Sandler, Adam uses him in all of his films.  DAN!  TELL HIM!  Don't be a "yes man."  I know you like being able to tell people you're in movies.  You do a good job in his films,  but the films are just AW-FUL.  They're not really movies.  They don't count.  Do the right thing next time, Dan.  Just say "No."

(Ed. Note: In the interest of fairness, there are two films from 2011 that the Aces Casino crew did NOT see, but definitely would have made the Bottom 5 if they HAD been seen - "Bucky Larson - Born To Be A Star," and "Twilight - Breaking Dawn, Part 1."  Aces Casino doesn't do Sandler's lackeys or boring vampire / werewolf pix.  There goes the reviewer's job.)

Well, that's all from the Orange County casino night leaders - turned movie critics.  Next week, we'll aim our blog-guns at another of the golden families of TV - We'll finally chronicle our visit to Calabasas and what happened when you combine the Aces Casino party crew with the Kardashian family.  That's coming out next Monday.

We'll see you next week, have a good weekend, and if you're looking for someone to help you with your next casino night party,. give the Orange County casino party leader, Aces Casino, a call.

Oh, and check out the Razzies.  Especially YOU, Sandler. 

Monday, January 16, 2012

Aces Casino College Of Casino Game Knowledge: Craps 201, or Part 2 Of Our Online Craps Seminar


Before we get into Part Two of our seminar on the game of Craps, the marketing and advertising staff here at Aces Casino has an announcement to make -- And that announcement is that it appears that our Orange County casino night juggernaut is finally back on schedule with our efforts to provide two blogs per week (Ed. Note: well, at LEAST once a week), in order to assist the many owners of parakeets here in the southland with their lining of the bottom of the cage with our irreverent, blathering blogs.  Our detractors can never say that we don't provide SOME service to the public.  Hey, some of our best blog subscribers are parakeets.

And whatever you do, do NOT make us write about that lorikeet attack at the Aquarium of the Pacific three years ago.  We're not paying any more royalties to the Hitchcock family.  But, as usual, I digress..... (Ed. Note: I'm told that the A.C. Blog will touch on that crazy story sometime in the next two months.  It's worth the wait.)

OK, now, where were we? Oh, yes; If you read "Part One" of how to play this game called Craps, we left you with a question last week. And, with Aces Casino being the industry leader in orange county casino party rentals, it's only right to pick up the discussion from that particular point.....

"What if the shooter doesn't throw a six OR a seven for a VERY long time?"

And the answer is, "you'll instantly figure out the way to beat this game." I know we've all done it before...We've been walking thru one of the many gaming areas of a Las Vegas casino, and hear a wild commotion coming from one of the gaming tables in the casino pit. AND, every time I hear the shrieks of joy, I'm guessing it's at a Craps table. So, for those of you that are wondering to yourself at that very moment, "why is everyone going so crazy?" The answer is the question we posted above -- Someone hasn't thrown their point number or a seven for a VERRRY long time.

Think about it -- In the game of Craps, yes, the 'seven' DOES turn into the enemy of the player, once a point is created, but if the shooter avoids the sevens on the dice, it's like the Craps table has opened up it's very own ATM. EVERY time the dice roll and it ain't a seven, someone's most likely getting paid off on one of their "place bets" on those other numbers available for betting; 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, and/or 10. OK, I know -- "So, Mr. "orange county casino party guy, can you provide us with a little tutorial?" Ahh, yes, ask, and you shall receive.....

Example -- On the 'come-out roll' (First roll of the sequence), shooter throws a five. Dealers mark the 5 as the 'point,' and now, the 'pass line bet' needs a five to be thrown BEFORE a seven. Now, the INSTANT that the shooter threw that five, he gives the dealer $27. Why? Because with that $27 wager, he can play what is called "across." The player can place the correct bets on the OTHER five main numbers on the game board, in this example, $5 on 4, $6 each on six and eight, $5 on 9, and $5 on 10. (You have to put an extra buck on the six and eight to get the correct payout odds, which are 7-to-6.

So, there you have it. Shooter throws 5, his pass line bet has that number covered. And, with that $27 bet, he ALSO has the 4-6-8-9-10 covered as well. For ALL SIX of these bets, there is only one number on the dice that can kill ALL of those bets -- SEVEN. Therefore, you can SEE why the table gets so crazy! No sevens for a long time = Cash, fun, and Craps euphoria.

 Form the look on her face, she's not having much fun-fun-fun.

But, in our example, we've neglected to mention what is truly the best bet on the Craps layout, the only bet that pays out "true dice odds," the only bets where the house has NO advantage over the player, the odds are, in a way, EVEN. And what IS this bet that every player should make, the second the point is created?

Ahhh, for THAT, you'll have to tune into Part Three of our Craps series. Another Craps cliffhanger from the orange county casino party leader, Aces Casino! We'll post Part Three sometime in the next week or two.  We'll hold off a bit as a result of the backlog of crazy happenings that we have to catch up on here in the Aces Casino blog but haven't gotten to as of this writing because of the December holiday calendar crunch (including the Calabasas visit to the Kardashians, we promise you).  We have PLENTY to write about when it comes to our company that always seems to be "where the action is." Take care, and we'll see you on Thursday!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Aces Casino College Of Casino Game Knowledge: Craps 101, A.K.A. "The Best Casino Game EVER"


Right up front, there is something that needs to be said.

Boy, does it feel good to be back.

True story.  Believe me, when you work for a company whose motto is "This Beats Working," It's tough to take a vacation.  We've said it once, and we'll say it again -- Aces Casino is the best company to work for.  It's been described as "Pixar on PED's."  The company actually studied how Pixar did business, and company owner Lawrence J. Stephens built his business model with the Disney animation giant in mind.  I heard he even visited their northern California facility a while back. It shows, trust me.

So, as you can imagine, every day is a fun day here at Aces Casino.  Especially what we call "game days," A.K.A. the dates that we put on casino parties for our fantastic clients all over southern California.  The events are ALWAYS great, and It's so gratifying to help clients with their fundraisers, private parties, birthday celebrations, "grad nights," holiday parties.  And, without question, the best thing about the events (besides having fun with the clients) has to be the ability to teach our guests how to play some of the games that they've always wanted to learn, but didn't want to risk real money at a live Las Vegas gaming table to find out how to play.

Enter Aces Casino.

Bottom line -- We LOVE teaching the games!  And, I have to agree, some of the games CAN be intimidating, but not when the "Aces Casino College of Casino Game Knowledge" takes over.  And, should you ask which of the games is the most requested casino game in the industry when it comes to the interest of the players to learn how it works, one name always comes up.

Craps.  Just one word, a word that makes people shudder.

If I had to guess what the number one question that's asked of Aces Casino, the Los Angeles casino night party crew (besides 'where's the bar?'), it's "Craps? Wow...How do you PLAY this game?" And, usually, my response goes something like, "That's asking 'how do you fly the Space Shuttle,'" but, when you think about it, flying the shuttle might just look easier to the uninitiated when it comes to what has to be the most imposing game on the casino floor.

But, fear not, my friends: There's good news! The chips are valueless, and the dice don't know the game is fake! Translation: IMHO, the best way to learn the game of Craps is at one of the Aces Casino Craps tables. Yep, free lessons, and, should you die a horrible death in the hour that it takes to teach you how to play, you can look inside your wallet/purse and say to yourself, "Wow. Haven't lost a dime."

Ahh, yes, it's good to be Aces Casino. Being the best Los Angeles casino party company DOES have it's advantages......

So, since the question has been asked...And asked....AND ASKED, we here at Aces Casino thought to ourselves, "what better way to teach the game than explain some of the nuances in our Aces Casino blog? (Yeah, we talk to ourselves a lot. Too many crazy casino parties.)

One end of the Craps table.  The other end is exactly the same.

PART ONE - GETTING STARTED

Yes, we'll skip over the history of the game. In prior blogs, we've already explained that our history grades in school weren't the best, so we start off in our wheelhouse: the game itself. Ever heard the term, "Seven-come-eleven?" Craps is the game that witty lil' phrase came from, because on the very first roll of a sequence (called the 'Come-Out-Roll'), if you throw a 7-or-11, you win your first bet, which, as WE teach the game, is the "Pass Line" bet.

OK, I know, I know, i'm already hitting you with these names, titles and phrases. No worries, as Scott "P" (the winner of the 2010 'Aces Casino 500') would say. You'll get the game, eventually, for one simple reason: This game is just like my mother-in-law. Repetitive. THe game constantly repeats, so, if you give this game (in a live setting at one of our events) just one hour, we'll teach you ALL you need to know. But, first, as Tony Soprano would say, "Ya gotta learn the lingo."

First roll of a series of rolls? Come out roll.

Pass Line Bet? First bet to place on the table.

Here...Check out this picture of one end of the Craps table...It's that pic you saw at the top of this blog. (See? Aces Casino isn't the Orange County casino party leader for nothing! We aim to please! Grin) Remember, the ends of the table are mirror images of each other. Stand on either end, you'll get the same game....... See the pass line at the bottom? That's where you'll place your chip(s) for your initial bet, right in that skinny lil' area, right in front of where you're standing at the table.

Now, on the very first roll of a sequence, yes, the come out roll, 7-or-11 is an automatic winner, and 2, 3, or 12 is an automatic loser. (2-3-12, that's Craps, baby.) But, if any other number comes up, you'll see the dealer mark that particular number, and, until the end of the roll, you'll need the shooter (the one rolling the dice) to throw THAT number before a seven, to win your pass line bet. Let's say for example, he threw a six. OK, that's your number.

Yeah, I know, it's starting to go over your head. Remember, my mother-in-law. You'll get it, it keeps repeating.

Now, when it comes to the pass line bet you made initially, the only two numbers that matter to your bet are SIX (which would be a pass line winner), or SEVEN (which would be a pass line loser). Yep, once you "create a point" (throw some maerked number, like six, on the come out roll), seven turns into your enemy. But, you KNOW how dice can be, sometimes......What if the shooter doesn't throw a six OR a seven for a VERY long time?

Good question, my friends. And that's where we'll move to part TWO of, "How the heck do you PLAY this game?" Brought to you by your friends at Aces Casino, the best Orange County casino night party company in SoCal. (And modest, too!) We'll post Part Two in a few days..... In the meantime, we've assigned you some homework: Go online, and search for one of the many free craps trainers online. You can roll thedice, get acclimated to the Craps layout, and maybe even win a few fake chips.

We know -- We're experts in fake chips. See you next time........

Monday, January 9, 2012

Aces Casino Blog: The December Holiday Parties Are In The Rear View Mirror - What's Next?


OK, THAT was a CRAZY month.

Here at Aces Casino, we pretty much expect that our Decembers can be a little wild around the offices of this, the Orange County casino party leader.  We understand that EVERYBODY wants Aces Casino at their Christmas events, and we are very happy to supply our band of more than 165 frustrated game-show contestants to our cherished clientele that annually looks for the best in casino party entertainment.  That having been said, when you put on your top performance at some 58 events over a 15-day time frame, your team gets a little tired, come the New Year.

The good news is, when it comes to Aces Casino, we take not ONE break, but TWO.  More on that a little later, but suffice it to say that after taking a week off from the madness that is the holiday season (and we wouldn't have it any other way), we're fully re-charged and ready to go full steam into what looks to be a fantastic 2012 Orange County casino night party season.

As mid-January approaches, we see that a lot of fundraising organizations are joining forces with Aces Casino this year to bolster their coffers with some much-needed revenue.  And believe me, NO ONE does a better fundraising assistance for local schools, youth sports teams and charitable organizations than Aces Casino Entertainment.  Next week, we'll be posting some of our better ideas on how to make your next fundraiser a rousing success, as well as getting back to what our blog team does best - Taking a peek at the irreverent side of life here in Orange County.  Trust me, we've got some pretty funny stories to tell about some of the happenings in the last two months.... We'll get to everything in subsequent blog releases here in our internet "parakeet paper," we promise.

Oh, yes, before we go, we wanted to get back to something we mentioned earlier, something we call the "Aces Casino Staff Re-Charging Initiative," A.K.A. the 2012 Aces Casino Entertainment Holiday Party.  The team already had a week off for New Years, but this is "break number two," OUR holiday party.  (We throw it in January, because no one is ever available in December, because of our industry.  Go figure.)

Now, LAST year's event, our first and last annual "Aces Casino 500" held at the incomparable K-1 Speed location in Anaheim, right near the 57/91 interchange, was a BLAST.  (No I didn't compete -- Somebody had to shoot the film for the dumb blog.  Rip-off.)  Here's a reminder of who did the best in the 2010 race....

The "Inquiry" sign is on.  Please hold all Win, Place and Show tickets.

Yes, there they are, the "top three" in the 2011 "Aces Casino 500."  In the middle, the winner (who almost went wire-to-wire) was Scott Percifield, who not only didn't get the memo to actually look at the camera when the K-1 staff took his picture, but also must have skimmed over the part in the invitation that Aces Casino wasn't ALSO holding it's annual "ugly shirt playoffs" until the following week.  (Ed. Note: He's usually a VERY snappy dresser.  We'll give him a mulligan.  When you're the top Orange County casino party company in the SoCal area, you can let one ugly shirt slide.) 

On the left is 2nd-place finisher Yolanda Wong, who is celebrating in the picture as a result of her finding out she's not liable for the more than $2300 in damage she caused by running not one, but TWO Aces team members off the track during the race, including the odds-on fave to win the race, Larry Hankin (whose car was so badly damaged, it's suspension had to be replaced by the K-1 staff).   However, after the steward's inquiry, Yolanda was removed from the 2nd-place spot and placed last, making the gentleman on the right side of the photo, our own Darwin Valentine, the silver medalist in the event.  (Darwin also finished 2nd in the ugly shirt competition.)

Now, without question, K-1 Speed in Anaheim is our favorite location EVER for hosting our holiday party, but the staff wants to make the "500" an every-other-year event, so now, yours truly has to find something just as good.  (NOT easy, believe me.  K-1's staff, from top-gun RaeLyn Stokes, to everybody on down the line, was SO helpful in getting us the best event in our history.  Thanks again, RaeLyn.)

Well, that's all for now.  We'll pop up with more drivel from the Orange County casino night party leaders tomorrow or Wednesday, and get back on our "at least once a week" schedule of posting nonsense on our parakeet paper.  And remember -- If you're planning a fundraiser, winter/spring formal, or just an intimate in-home event, give your friends at Aces Casino a call.  We're here to help, and are the best in the business at putting on fantastic casino night parties!  OK, we'll see you all later in the week!