Friday, August 12, 2011

Aces Casino Dept. Of Nonsense: Here's Five Things That You (Hopefully) Didn't Know About Dice

Here at Aces Casino, the Orange County casino party leaders, we have always gone the extra mile to give our many readers a truly unique look at the casino games, people, and situations that we love.  We do it not because our company pays for mileage (don't I wish), but because you, the paying customer, demand it.  We wouldn't have it any other way.  We've ASKED, but, well, you know the deal.  Bottom line: we just LOVE games.  Games of ALL kinds and varieties.  It doesn't matter to us how nutty the game is.  The nuttier, the better, I always say.  (Ed. Note: One of his finer sayings, which isn't saying much.)


And, by FAR, one of the nuttiest games in the casino has to be the game of Craps. The noise, the casino-like sound of the chips in play, the stickman and his banter, the superstitions and rituals, the colorful slang, and, often, equally colorful swear words.  You're just not a true Craps player if you haven't uttered one of the seven truly evil curse words.  Yeah, I admit it.  I'm a member of that clan, also.

At the center of any craps game are the most important pieces of the game - the dice.  (That is, unless you're stuck at one of those California Indian casinos playing "Card Craps."  We'll save THAT for another blog.)  So, in true Aces Casino style, as only this Orange County casino night party kingpin (and a few others too numerous to mention) can provide, here are five useless things you probably didn’t know about those dice in your hand, in no particular order...

1. The pattern of the number five on standard casino dice (four spots in a square shape, with one spot in the middle) is called (are you ready?) a “quincunx.” Trust us, we proofread the supposed correct spelling 1,892 times.  Next time you want to bet a "hard ten" at the Craps table, throw a nickel to the stick, and ask him to bet the "Double Quincunx."  I dare ya.  If he/she knows what you're talking about, I'm officially under-educated.

  One problem - Finding the plural of "Quincunx."  Don't ask.

2. Casino dice are three-quarters of an inch on each side and are perfect cubes.  Unless I'M throwing them, you understand.  Then, they turn from perfect cubes into the "quincunxes of death."  (Gee, I hope that's the correct pluralization.  If not, sue me.)  Take my advice -- When I'M shootin', bet the "Don't."  You know the old adage: Those that Can, Do, and those that CAN'T work for our Orange County casino party company.

3. Dice haven’t always gotten the love and respect they deserve. In fact, scholars uncovered a document from the 1500s titled, “A Manifest Detection of the Most Vile and Detestable Use of Dice Play.” Gee, I wish you'd quit beating around the bush and tell us what you REALLY think about those dice, Mr. Walker.  I got an Aces Casino dollar that says HE'S uttered a few of those seven swear words at some 1500's-style Craps table.

4. Craps Engineering 101: The spots on those famous dice are drilled exactly 17/1,000th of an inch deep, then filled with paint that weighs exactly as much as the material removed from the spots.  It's official: The "Boxman" has too much time on his hands.  I'll probably get mail for this, but if the dice are off by another 1,000th of an inch here or there, is there REALLY an available betting bias to be exploited?  (Ed. Note: I'm glad it's not MY e-mailbox.  Good luck, but get that Tuesday blog ready, just in case your e-box is loaded with attacks from qualified mathematicians.)

5. Only three sides of casino dice are visible to you at any one time.  No problem there.  I've seen those other three sides at more than 2,000 Los Angeles casino party set-ups over the years, and they're just as ugly as the first three sides.  Bonus useless trivia:  They call it "the dark side of the moon" because the Moon NEVER has the rays of the sun illuminate it.  Who says this Orange County casino night party company doesn't go the extra mile?  We minored in the Solar System in college (at least, that's what the guy that I paid to attend my classes for 2 months tells me).

So much for the utter nonsense about dice.  Hope you liked it.... It was suggested by one of our crack Aces Casino staff members.  We'll be back on Tuesday with another "scintillating" blog that will chronicle our recent visit to the "set" of the "Pawn Stars."  Have a good weekend, and we'll see ya later!

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