It should go without saying that when you work for Aces Casino, the Orange County Casino Party leader, you have to understand that, from time to time, you're going to see an opportunity to cross paths with a celebrity or two at certain Aces-based "tinseltown" events. Problem is, we HAVE to say it; otherwise, we have no info for our blog. That just wouldn't be right, now, would it?
Aces Casino has been in the Las Vegas Night casino party business since 1994, and over that time, we have seen more than our share of celebrity-driven events. And, if you were to ask some of the many crazies that frequent the roster of the employed here at Aces Casino, you'll quickly learn that the events that have the "celebs" involved in one way or another ALWAYS seem to, shall we say, "stand out in a crowd."
Translation: Something crazy ALWAYS happens at a celebrity-driven event.
With that in mind, and since we've seen our share of celebs over the years, we thought it might be time to play "celebrity police," and pull over a few people that the print and video-driven media outlets might THINK are celebrities, but are, unfortunately for them, are either not worthy of the paparazzi that follows them, are simply not interesting, or just a plain ol' train wreck in the making.
So, with that in mind, here are three such sad cases from the Aces Casino "Not A Celebrity" file, listed in reverse order, with the hope that the media will just leave these three alone, for OUR sake...
3. -- Nadya Suleman (Octo-Mom)
Nadya came to the forefront of the "People Magazine" crowd when she willingly instructed an invitro-fertilization clinic to artificially inseminate her reproduction tract with EIGHT, count 'em, EIGHT live sperm samples. Needless to say, giving birth to eight children WAS news, but it seemed that the more we found out about Suleman and her situation, the uglier the story grew. From reality shows gone wrong to selling her possessions at a garage sale, this one qualifies for "train wreck-to-be."
Unfortunately, from this angle, we suppose that this woman will ALWAYS be "news," because of her situation. But, we don't have to like it. This story seemed to die down a bit after some natural passage of time, but it's still news where we're concerned. (Ed. note: Suleman lives approximately two miles from the Aces Casino Whittier, CA headquarters, and every time she holds a PC or a garage sale, the Aces team feels it..) It's just so incredibly sad that this woman did this for MONEY, for plastic surgery, among other things.
Memo to the media: It looks like you've finally caught on to this woman's schtick, and have stopped jumping to attention every time Suleman farts. Just leave her alone, and don't make people that break the morality laws up front, then BEG for assistance by playing the "poor, pitiful ME" card famous. She created this "Frankenstein's Monster." Let her, and anyone else that pulls something like this, FEND for HERSELF. Yes, it's sad. No doubt. But we MUST put our children first, not use them as media attractions. Rant over.
2. -- Ted Williams
Everyone remembers hearing about Ted Williams, the homeless man from Ohio that burst onto the scene when his YouTube video that showcased his "golden Throat" went viral earlier this year. Boy, did the media and the public eat THIS guy up. Voice-over jobs from the Cleveland Cavaliers and Kraft Foods, media interviews, he was once on the mean streets, and now, he's gonna MAKE it! Everyone LOVED the Ted Williams story.
Well, ALMOST everyone.
The Aces Casino crew sat around in the offices just "shootin' the breeze" earlier this year when the subject of Ted Williams came up. Immediately, the response was, "yeah, the story SOUNDS great, but wait until the media, who's currently building this guy up, decides to turn on him, and tear him apart." Yep, when you're homeless, you're homeless for a reason.
Or, should we say, REASONS. Alcohol and drug addictions, unpaid child support, subsequent exploitation by the media machines like "Dr. Phil," and the list goes on and on.
Holy smokes. Tim Conway, Jr., who hosts a night-time radio show on KFI-AM 640 in Los Angeles, called this one from the beginning, way before WE did. He saw this train wreck coming from a mile away. Yep, Tim, you were right. This guy was going to be a disaster. Sure, we all do wish him well, but this is another lesson that seems to be hard-to-learn -- Sometimes, you CAN judge a book by it's cover. I loved it when Tim's Friday co-host, Doug Steckler, who is a radio comedy gem, came out with the perfect nickname for the Media's latest darling: Ted Williams, "Fool's-Golden-Throat." Bulls-eye, Doug.
Memo to the media: Leave this guy alone, please. More media attention for Ted means more media attention for that dysfunctional family of his that keeps coming around for their rightful share of the golden goose, not to mention that "girlfriend" of his that was his crack-buddy on the street. Gee, Dr. Phil. Thanks for exposing HER face to us. I'm sure there are more characters waiting to take the stage and help Ted continue to write this one-act-play called, "This Is Your Life," so, please, media machine. Drop this hot potato, before it's too late. Our Orange County casino night reputation BEGS you to....
1. -- Mike Sorrentino ("The Situation")
The minute that the Aces Casino team took a break from being the Orange County Casino Party kingpin, we turned on the television at our main office and took in our first views of something called, "Jersey Shore." It was an INSTANT hit with us, because we LOVE "TV Train Wrecks." I mean, with Characters like Snooki and that D.J., Pauly D., who owns his OWN tanning bed, to keep up that artificial tan? What's not to like?
But, with our a doubt, the fave around the Aces Casino offices was "The Situation," A guy named Mike Sorrentino. This miniature goofball with the six-pack was just too much. Instant hit, I tell ya. He's a walking New Jersey caricature. Gotta love it...
Then, like a gift from the heavens, MTV gets Sorrentino a gig on, of ALL things, a celebrity roast held in honor of Donald Trump, and asks HIM if he'd like to do STAND-UP COMEDY for the roast as a toast-master. Oh, Mike, PLEEEEASE say 'yes.'
Oh-My-GAWD. This couldn't have gone any better. This pint-sized dope with the inflated attitude thought he could do anything, if he put his mind to it. Problem is, there ain't much "mind" there. He gets up in front of The Donald, the guest roasters, the assembled audience, and thousands watching on cable TV, and proceeds to take the biggest digger in the HISTORY of TV comedy blunders.
His 'monologue,' short as it was, was still filled with all kinds of goodies: stupid, stale jokes abounded; a racial slur aimed right at Snoop-Dogg, when he fired off a blast that suggested that The Donald and the Dogg had something in common - Donald has owned property, and Dogg's ancestors WERE property; and our favorite, when things got so bad, and the crowd started booing him, he fired off this "Fonzie" impression, and just started going, "AAAAYYYYYY," like that would help him. Oh, I'm here to tell you, it was DELICIOUS. Couldn't have gone better. You talk about this goof getting HIMSELF into a situation... (grin) This guy jumped the shark in record-time.
Hey, Fonzie -- Arnold's is closed, and fortunately for us, so is your stand-up career. "Happy Days" are here again, "Mr. Situation." Memo to the media: Please don't get off of THIS dead horse too fast. I'm smellin' a spin-off. Please. We'll watch, We promise. (Ed. Note: Sorrentino has actually written a book entitled, "Here's The Situation." We said WROTE one, not READ one. The book is about dating in Jersey, fashion, and fist-pumping. We kid you not.)
That's all for now.... Next week, we'll chronicle our visit to Calabasas, and the subsequent visit to the Kardashian's "Dash" clothing store, as well as a take or two regarding another new casino game making it's appearance at Aces Casino, the Orange County casino night giant. Check us out every Monday and Friday -- We hope you enjoy it!