Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Aces Casino Blog: Top Five Random Thoughts From Aces Casino's "Department Of Useless Information"



Aces Casino Entertainment has always considered itself as "being on top of things" when it comes to three important categories: The NFL, current events, and useless information.   Which pretty much covers just about anything, but we never let the facts get in the way of a good story.)

It came to our attention here at the Orange County casino party leader that there just seemed to be a lot of, shall we say, "tasty and interesting news snippets" floating around out there in the internet news world that we here at Aces Casino would like to yak about.

Some of these "news flashes" are stories that you may have heard of already, and some others may have escaped your glance.  With that in mind, Aces Casino, the Southland's top Orange County casino party company, proudly brings you issue #1 of the "Aces Casino top five thoughts from the Department of Useless Information."

Here are some of our favorite headlines that caught our eye...

1.  "Egyptian Cobra feared missing from Bronx Zoo."  --- I love the by-line on this ... "Officials have closed the Reptile house until further notice."  Gee, we're guessing that closing the door to the house MIGHT just help keep the snakes inside.  And now, we hear that "Butti" the Turtle is also among the missing.  I hope the New York State prison system doesn't run like the Bronx Zoo.  Someone's gonna find this snake fairly soon.  Hope it ain't the turtle.
"Turtle?  WHAT Turtle?  Haven't seen him."

They say the venom from this snake can kill an elephant in three hours.   Guess Rosie O'Donnell would have enough time to walk from the zoo to the hospital after getting bitten.  On second thought, that snake had better run, if it sees her.  She looks hungry. (Snakes RUN?)

2.  "Coming to a casino near you - The new 'Judge Judy' slot machine?" --- Can you imagine playing some slot machine in Vegas that berates you every time you lose, then calls you by name and tells you, "case dismissed, get out of my casino, that's all?"  I gotta be thinkin' this might be a bad idea, Shuffle-Master.
"I find for the casino in the amount of $20 in quarters."

I'm not playing a machine that has me settle up with the balliff after I'm through.  Carrot-Top is already located in Vegas and waiting for the chance to annoy me.  I don't need that pint-sized small-claims court fireball to "up my annoyance ante."  She went into the hospital recently for "nausea and intestinal distress?"  Makes two of us, Scheindlein. Best wishes to get well soon, Judgeie-wudgie, but please stay off of those slot machines. I couldn't take it.

3.  "Cinderella, Snow White Busted in Drug-Smuggling Ring."  --- And, in a related story, sales of coloring books in New Jersey have spiked for the first time in recent memory.  Depends on what your definition of "art" is, I suppose.  If it's in the eye of the beholder, there are a few inmates that be-holdin' some "tasty" art.


4.  "Sexy Video Game Ad TOO Sexy for TV?" --- You make the call.  And then find my tennis racket.  And my video game console.  And lock the door.  And go get my bootleg copy of "Suckerpunch."

Whoa.  Tennis, Anyone?

5.  "600-Pound Bronze Moose Stolen." --- I think the San Diego Chargers have just found their new Right Tackle.

That's all for now, my twisted brethren.  Thanks for checking into the Aces Casino Blog.  Our Orange County casino night party team will be off all this weekend, so we decided to post our Friday blog today.  (Either that, or our calendar's in need of replacing.)  See you next Monday, and for those Aces Casino clients that have events with us this Friday or Saturday, we'll see you then!

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