Monday, February 7, 2011

Aces Casino: Top 5 Things That We HATED About The Super Bowl (Including that Half-Time Show!)

Fellow football fans, the dreaded day has finally arrived: It's now the day after the Super Bowl.  (Crap, I did it again. MORE royalty payments.  I gotta knock that off.)  Yes, the "Big Game" (Ahh, MUCH better, and less costly) has come and gone, and now, the orange county casino party leader in SoCal must concentrate on more important things, like actually working over here at Aces Casino.  Now, I'm not bitter that the Steelers' 2-point conversion at the end of the game cost me $750.  Big Ben ran the OPTION, and the Packers couldn't STOP IT?  I lost 750 clams on the OPTION?  OK, maybe I AM bitter.  Stupid option play.  Stupid football pools.

You know, it seems that every time someone at Aces Casino (the innovative orange county casino party company) loses the big money in the "Big Game" football pool at the last minute (but I'm not bitter), they usually take their wrath out on some part of the game itself, including all the commercial trappings and extra goodies that people tune in to, people that don't normally even WATCH football.  Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to list, in reverse order, the Aces Casino "Top 5 things that I hated about the Super Bowl" (crap, more royalties), or things that we as loyal football fans could have done without on Super Sunday.....

5.  Christina Aguilera's botching of the National Anthem.  OK, so, she's not my favorite singer, but she's one of the top "pipe sets" in the industry as we write this drivel.  According to ESPN and the Wall Street Journal, Aguilera was just "nervous" in regards to her participation in the Super Bowl.  (There goes another $3.)  So, as we scored this flub at home, the scorecard reads, "America's Got Talent 1, Short Attention-Span Theater, Zero."  You lost your PLACE, XTina?  Hell, the over/under on how long the song would take to SING was around 1:52.  I sound just like Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants when I sing, but at least I know I can remember the freakin' WORDS to our National Anthem.  Our servicemen stationed who-knows where around our globe that tuned in to witness this game must have swallowed their chewing gum.  Nice goin', XTina.

Aguilera reacts to her "Super Flub."  That'll leave a mark.

4.  That "Candid Shot" of Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz.  Holy smokes, that video-blurb of  Diaz feeding A-Rod popcorn set men's independence back 25 years.  Boy, A-Rod, way to look absolutely, positively, 100% "whipped" on the biggest national stage on EARTH.  Somewhere in Green Bay, there was a 300-pound female Packer fan telling her hubby to microwave some Jolly Time and pull up a chair.  Poor devil.  Hey, mister Packer Fan-Hubby - At least your team won.  Imagine the poor slob in the Steel City that had to do the deed while sobbing into his popcorn.  Ouch....I really feel sorry for HIM.

That's gonna cost ALL of us, A-Rod.  THANKS.

3.  The hype surrounding the Super commercials.  People just fell all over themselves praising the first commercial that came on after the game began, about the pug running towards the glass door while chasing the Doritos chip.  Wow, the dog knocked the door on top of the guy.  Gee, that's the funniest thing that I've EVER seen!  (NOT.)  Hey, if the Doritos company (whomever owns THEM)  had to pony up $1.8M to AIR the spot, they figured that they might as well save some coin in the cost of producing the spot.  Must've set them back about $20 to make that spot.  As a whole, we here at Aces Casino, the best orange county casino party company in SoCal, thought the commercials as a whole were, shall we say, "pungent."  (I DID like the Doritos spot where the guy knocked the urn full of ashes off the mantle, then brought "Grampa" back to life with a little help from the sponsor.  Funny.)

2.  Three Words: "The Half-Time Show."  OMG, WHERE do I BEGIN to talk about the freakin' "Black Eyed Peas?" They're AWFUL. What, you think standing next to each other on stage is cool? Give me a break....You can only rely on that "good night" song once, you guys. They have no stage presence, their "rap" stunk, Fergie makes Ashlee Simpson sound like Susan Boyle, and, quite frankly, appear to be habitual samplers of other music. Embarrassing... They're not entertaining, I'm sorry. Bad show. $hit, I can get out there and play someone else's music. Quit sampling, and quit relying on dumb-a$$ rap and mob mentalities in your crowd for energy, when all rap sounds the same.  Oh, the Silver Medal in Half-Time "awfulness" goes to Will.I.Am, for that metal hairpiece he was wearing.  Somebody has too many "Yes Men" hanging around THESE people.

Entrance AWESOME.  The Show was El-Stink-A-Dora.

1.  That "OPTION PLAY!"  It cost me $750!  Yes, the orange county casino party leader is upset!  Stupid Football Pools.....

No comments:

Post a Comment